List-less March

So my faithful readers, all half-dozen(?) of you, know that I do my "List" every month to chit-chat about the latest doings in my brain and in the Conway household. Well, no List has appeared this month and I'm not going to attempt one on this, the last day of the month, either. To put it bluntly, it's been a difficult month.

Marty had an old estate case to close out in Memphis last week, and most of the month was spent on pins and needles waiting to know how certain aspects of this case (mostly cooperation from other people) were going to play out, and how this would affect Marty's presentation to the judge. I helped in any way I could, including Internet research and signing for 8 zillion mailers from the post office guy (who no longer stares at my pretty substantial belly but just smiles instead), but my contribution was just a tiny drop in the bucket compared to the hours and hours and hours of work my husband invested in this case (not to mention the stress, which I think should be measured in pounds per square inch on the human body!). Thankfully, after much prayer on top of all that hard work, Marty made his presentation to the judge and had the most favorable outcome we could have expected and hoped for. We are so relieved to have this obstacle cleared from our path, but it's curious to see how stress takes a toll -- I think we're still recovering from it!

On top of that, we're really starting to consider the most realistic possibilities for our immediate future. We may not find a job for Marty in Indiana in the next few weeks. We may not be able to move to Indiana before Will is born. I may have to give birth here and make an intense, exhausting move when our son is only just a few weeks or months old. As much as we'd like to take a few risks and move right now, with this economy and job market and me going on maternity leave in July, we have to be wise and careful and cautious. I don't take well to careful maneuverings...I never have. I like to take leaps of faith, but it's funny how quickly you become a parent, even when your child isn't born yet. It's not about me anymore, it's about the best situation for our son, and of course that is dependent on what we can realistically provide him with what we have right now, right in front of us, unless and until those things change. I've spent a lot of time this month trying to relinquish control of our lives to God, and that's never an easy process. And even though I'm still working on it, I'm starting to make preparations for Plan B, even though Plan B is just about the last thing I want to do. It's become one of those times in life when the rubber meets the road faith-wise and that's always the best time to stop, take a breath, and just count your blessings. At the end of the day, no matter where I happen to be geographically, if my son is born healthy and I am healthy after delivering him, and Marty and I and Will are together as a family, then that is far and away the greatest blessing in this whole world. Yes, it would be nice to be settled where we're going to be for the long run, have a functioning, tidy home and have the right jobs, and be in a great church, and surrounded by loved ones, and so on and so forth, but these are nice things, not vital things, and my perfectionist self just has to deal with that! Moral of the story? Sometimes gifts don't come with all the accessories. But that's no reason to be ungrateful for the gifts!

In any case, March shall remain List-less and I hope to continue my little tradition next month (and I may even revamp it a bit). Lots of new posts coming soon...April is Autism Awareness Month and I have lots to share on this topic! Stay tuned...and if you remember to, say a little prayer for us and all the decisions that must be made in the coming weeks. We would greatly appreciate it!

Product love, won't you join me?

***Okay, readers, this is a post requiring participation. In fact, I'm going to make this one of those "tag" posts wherein I gently peer-pressure my fellow bloggers into joining my party.

I love getting product recommendations. Heck, I just plain love products. Anything that promises to make my life easier, tastier, cleaner, prettier, more efficient -- sign me up. Here are some of my faves!

*IZZE sparkling juices.

I've tried the peach, clementine, and pomegranate flavors (and the latter is my favorite). Because they are all-natural -- featuring 70% juice and a splash of sparkling water -- you won't find them in the soda aisle, but rather, in the organic foods section of your grocery store (at least it's shelved that way in Kroger). So you won't see them next to diet Cokes, but IZZEs are better than sodas, and I'm quite the connoisseur! I love soda but being pregnant, I don't need the caffeine, sugar, or artificial sweeteners. I can't think of a better alternative and honestly, IZZEs will stay in my pantry long after my baby is born!

*Panera's honey-wheat bread with a spreading of Country Crock and Dickinson's Marion Blackberry preserves.

Speaking of being a connoisseur of something, my mama makes homemade strawberry jam, straight out of her own garden. Yes, many a June morning growing up I'd come downstairs to the kitchen to the smell of gently boiling strawberries in a great big vat on the stove. There is nothing like that smell in the whole world! Thus, I'm an absolute Nazi about strawberry jams and won't eat it unless it's my mama's, but of course, she sets the bar pretty darn high when it comes to fruit jams in general! So it's with absolute confidence in my "refined palette" that I recommend Dickinson's Marion Blackberry preserves! (Oh, and do try Panera's fresh breads...better than ANYthing you can find at the market!)

*Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day liquid hand soap in lavender.

I recently went on a bit of a spree at Drugstore.com (I heart that site) and decided to try this hand soap; I think I've read at least half a dozen bloggers recommending this product. And it did not disappoint! This is the kind of soap that will have you smelling your hands after you've washed and dried them. Now that I know how much I love the hand soap, I think I'll give the other products a whirl -- household cleaners, laundry detergent, etc.

*Old product, new use...Johnson's Baby Lotion!

I feel like I've been using Johnson's baby lotion my entire life (and maybe I have, come to think of it!). I love the soft smell and the great moisturizing you get from this product, and I've also noticed it's a good "layering" product; ie, you can use this lotion right out of the shower, then layer on a fragrance, and the fragrance seems to "stick" better to your skin and because Johnson's is so mild, the fragrance doesn't fight for center stage! My new favorite use for Johnson's is on my burgeoning belly. I tried the famous Belly Butter, but ended up having some kind of weird allergic reaction to it. I've also tried Burt's Bees Mama Bee Butter, which I also like, but my standby, tried-and-true fave has to be Johnson's...and guess what? At nearly 25 weeks, I have ZERO stretch marks. That's right! No marks, no lines, no nothing. Of course, I'm prepared for this to change, but everyone who's had the privilege(?) of seeing my bare belly has commented that it's a very cute one, because it's free of blemish!

Okay, blogging friends, it's that time where I call on you to leave me a good product recommendation. Leave a comment and I will continue to update this blog post with a link to your blog and the product you've recommended. Hopefully, we'll gather together a good list of great products! Vive la products!!! :)

1. Sarah says, Vaseline Intensive Rescue Lotion is great for super dry skin!

2. Kate says, Burt's Bees Pomegranate and Soy Conditioner works for the whole family, and Yoplait's Thick & Creamy Key Lime yogurt is a delish dessert.

Viability! and THE EVIL STORAGE ROOM

I was just about to say that these two title items don't have a thing in common, but upon further reflection, yes they do. They are huge projects in my life (albeit one quite major and one quite minor, in the scheme of things) that are not finished, and in some aspects, feel as though they've just begun.

Today is 24 weeks into my pregnancy, and my little boy is officially "viable." I sort of hate the term, but in doctor-speak, it means my son would receive life-saving medical treatment should he make his way into the world right now...so, I'll gladly use the term! However, just because my William is viable doesn't mean he'd do well outside of my womb; in fact, though "save-able," he'd be at his most vulnerable. And so, it feels in some ways as though my pregnancy has really just begun. We've reached a crucial stage, but the next 4 weeks alone would make a 50% difference in his survivability. Talk about pressure...I know that I know too much about this stuff. But, you get pregnant, you read things! It's so easy for me to want to propel us somehow into the future and skip a couple months, but I know God gives parents 9 months to prepare for their young'uns, and I should take that time without questioning the wisdom of it. Whoever said it was right on: waiting really is the hardest part.

As for the other project, the dreaded EVIL STORAGE ROOM, Marty and I finally made some headway into the clearing and purging and organizing of it today. I said a few weeks ago that we were going to get started, but we ended up devoting that day toward the cleaning and purging and organizing of our office, which was far more necessary and urgent of a task. So even though I'm glad we tabled the EVIL STORAGE ROOM for another day (today as it turned out), I can hardly believe that we've only just started this hateful chore. I would just like to say that when two people come together to form a home, and both of those people have baggage from past marriages (especially when each of us previously owned houses), and both of those people have lived in 4 different places in the past 2 years (respectively!), there's a lot of just plain old stuff hanging around! And even though it feels good to sort and throw away and give away and see that your "keep" pile is teeny-tiny, it's such an exhausting chore and I know we have a few weekends of such choring ahead of us yet, and that's daunting, to say the least.

Are you feeling overwhelmed with me yet? The funny thing is, my attitude is not one of complaint. I'm beyond incredibly thankful that I have a life with my husband, that I've been rescued from bad things and bad times, and that we have such a beautiful future, especially with the coming of our son. I truly have everything I've ever wanted in life, yet there's always this difficulty with achieving contentment, isn't there? "Yes, God, I have a wonderful husband and a baby on the way, but could You just get him here now and organize my stuff for me while You're at it?" I think this is the real challenge in life, especially the peaceful life that I so want to live: to just be thankful for our blessings in whatever form they're currently taking. To not rush through life, and just enjoy the gentle unfolding of each gift!

Charleston pictures II, or why antiquing rocks my world

Okay, so these aren't technically pictures of Charleston, but they are pictures of items I bought in Charleston! And at my favorite antiques store, no less, which I mentioned in this post.

Christa can testify, I kinda went a little geeked when I saw these Wedgwood china Peter Rabbit dishes, made in England, of course! When Marty and I were registering for baby items a couple weeks back, we saw mostly practical dishes and only a few keepsake dishes, all of which I hated (I had seen some beauties in Tiffany's in New York, but who has hundreds of dollars for baby dishes?). I think even little men need some "good china" for their important holidays and "firsts," so you can count on me using these dishes for his first bowl of cereal, his first Thanksgiving, and so on! Hopefully I can use them for all our children and they'll survive my inherent clumsiness.

the set of three: plate, bowl, and mug

the plate, up close (can you read the precious words?)

the bowl, up close

the mug's front

and finally, the mug's back

Not only do I look forward to feeding him cream of wheat and bananas from his dishes, I also can't wait to snuggle my little boy up in a blanket and rock him and read to him from Beatrix Potter's sweet and delightful stories. How precious and innocent and perfect will that be???

Charleston pictures I, or why pregnant women can't defy gravity

Christa: What a cool set of columns, a perfect place to take pictures! Now, how can we get Becky up here?

*shimmying and some unladylike grunting occurs*

Becky: Oh my stars, this will never happen. I can't vault my body in any upwardly direction!

Becky: Oh well, I'll just have to pose where I'm standing. Do you think they'll notice my double-chin, Christa?

22 weeks' doctor's visit

the arm's-length approach to picture-taking; Mama and Daddy in the waiting room.

Last Friday, Marty and I went to my 22 weeks' appointment with my OB/GYN (as it turns out, 1 of the 3 in the practice). This was our first appointment with Dr. Carrillo (Cah-ree-oh), who I loved nearly immediately and then REALLY loved when she shared that during her own pregnancy, even as a doctor, she had questions and wondered if certain things were normal. She reassured me that doubting and worrying is a state of mind shared by all expecting mothers! That was nice to hear, that what I've been experiencing of late is common. I told her about the insomnia resulting from anxiety, and after asking several questions and reviewing my chart again, she told me I'm doing "marvelously" and if I could just sweat it out for another couple weeks to reach the point of viability, then I'd feel a whole lot better. She said, "Make it to 24 weeks, and we'll be able to do all kinds of things to make sure your baby survives." Then I asked her, "Okay, how do I get through the next 2 weeks???" She just smiled and said, "Try distracting yourself in any way you can." Fortunately, I just happened to have a girls' weekend planned in Charleston starting the very next day (more on that to come!), so the timing appears to have been pretty darn good to be told to go distract myself for a bit!

All in all, it was a great doctor's visit. Will's heartbeat was in the high 140's and low 150's, and Dr. Carrillo said that was perfect. The most amazing finding was that I've gained only EIGHT pounds!!! I'm nearly in third trimester and I'm hoping that my weight gain will continue to be minimal (although my sister Sarah tells me that with her boys, she didn't gain much until third trimester and then she really packed it on at the end! Well, this is one circumstance where I DON'T want to follow in her footsteps...) And honestly, I feel like I look larger than an 8-pound weight gain, so the numbers feel kinda arbitrary anyway. I just want to continue to be semi-comfortable and semi-mobile, along with semi-recognizable, and I'll call it good. My blood pressure continues to be completely normal, although they did find something wonky with my thyroid levels, but since I've had thyroid issues nearly all my life, it will only take a wee adjustment in my meds to fix this. So -- a great report! And only 9 days to go until official viability, then I'll breathe a big sigh of relief and buckle my seatbelt for the remaining ride, hopefully until week 40 (or 39...can you hear Mama, William?). :)

Daddy took pictures of "his babies."

Waiting for Dr. Carrillo.

a shortie

I just want to share that my little boy is currently kicking me so hard, he's hitting nerves in my belly and making me jump. And his mama doesn't mind one bit -- although my startle reflex is getting frazzled! I just crack up at this little man with his bursts of energy and enthusiasm, and it makes it so much harder to wait to meet him! I love you, William!!!

Baby Indiana Jones and a good weekend

Whew. That's how I feel right now, like it's time to breathe a deep sigh of relief after days and days of busy-ness and lots of emotions. Mid-week last week, I started dealing with raging insomnia that was further plagued by serious bouts of anxiety, all focused in on the baby and our upcoming move to Indy (and the need for a job for Marty there first!). Let's just say that my nesting instinct came on full-force, and because we desperately hope not to be here in Tennessee when William comes, there's no place set aside here as a nursery for him, and for some reason, this drives me bonkers. I mean, up at 2 a.m. kind-of bonkers! All the worries about getting a job in time and moving were exacerbated by a couple days straight of William not moving very much. I don't know about other pregnant mamas, but my baby's movements are my reassurance that everything's going okay with him, so you can imagine how I feel when those movements become scarce! Anyway, after the second night of holding his inconsolable, weeping wife in the pre-dawn hours, my husband very geniusly suggested that he take me home to Indy for the weekend. And I immediately felt better! That's how in-my-own-head I was last week -- I couldn't even think of a solution like visiting home. I needed someone to think of it for me! So, Friday afternoon, we were off to Indy and despite the 7-hour drive, I was quite energetic upon arrival. My mom and dad and Marty and I, plus my Aunt Janice who happened to be staying over, talked until almost 1 in the morning over pieces of blueberry pie. What a huge change from my recent experiences at that time of the morning!!!

And that began just the loveliest weekend. I got to cuddle with my nieces and nephews and make new memories with them, like my little bruiser Elijah playing dinosaurs with me, but insisting "they not scary" although he made roaring noises over and over. So-FLIPPIN'-cute. And Abby demanding to know where her cousin was, and then lifting up my t-shirt so she could try to peer into my belly to see him! We also got to spend time with Ellen and Katie and Chris, and then we went to Katie and Chris' church on Sunday morning, where I saw lots of old and dear friends (I think Kristen and I were seconds away from bawling upon seeing each other!). The best part was Pastor Josh's sermon, though, which was exactly what I needed. He was preaching from Galatians 5 and talking about the works of the flesh, and when he got to idolatry, he explained that the sin of idolatry is obsessing over anything that we put above God, and loving anything that we put above our love for God and His perfect will for our lives. And man-oh-man, was I ever convicted on that point. I told Marty on the way home, I have been so guilty of wanting my perfect little life (loving husband, healthy baby boy, beautiful home, etc.) above wanting whatever God has intended for me. And that it's so easy to start loving the gifts so much that you forget to love the GIVER of those gifts! And I think it's that very sin of idolatry that has kept me up at nights, because in the end, I know I can't force my will on life and I can't control the outcomes of this pregnancy and William's birth, and that by loving God's will, I can be at peace no matter what happens. VERY hard lesson to learn, especially for one who has always longed for a loving husband and the blessing of a child!

So, I came home relaxed and feeling better about things. Of course, then I had to work until I fried my brain yesterday to finish a project, but today things are smooth-sailing and I'm just so thankful for all my gifts in life. Indeed, the minute I stopped worrying about William so much, he turned into my Indiana Jones baby! I told Marty that yesterday he was moving around so much, it actually felt like he was spelunking his little cave-womb and mapping it out, trying to find the exit (which won't appear until July, young man!). I could just imagine my little explorer wearing an Indiana Jones hat while he curiously felt around his environment. He was moving so much in so many new ways, it was cracking me up! He has also started to respond to specific stimuli, namely his daddy's voice and laughter, songs with a discernible beat to them, and even sermons (he kicks me every time I'm sitting in church!). He also responds to mealtime, especially dinner. So far, I think I have a sociable, musical, theological kid who loves good food, which in all truth, is a carbon copy of his daddy!!! I just love it.

Floating on gratitude today!

Hooray for Hollywood!

I've always had a thing for the movies. For my 6th birthday party, my family went to see a re-showing of "Return of the Jedi" at the old Artcraft Theatre in Franklin, Indiana (Hoosiers will know what I'm talking about!). I remember being quite little and watching Christopher Reeve in "Superman" and, quite simply, falling in love, as did my sister Katie (remember humming the theme songs in bed at night?). My parents used to take us to drive-in movies on Saturday nights in the summer, and we'd play on the swingset, in pajamas and with pink rollers in our hair(!), beneath the big screen until it got dark and the little animated hot dogs and soft drinks started dancing. One time, we saw Disney's "Swiss Family Robinson" and I was scared of the giant snake, but it didn't dampen the thrill of watching the movie. My love of the movies continued into adulthood, when I seized the opportunity to take a film class in college. I did an essay/presentation on "the new role of women as warriors" in film, using "Aliens" and "Terminator 2" as my main sources. I had the greatest time doing that project and gleefully got an A+ on it, too. So you can imagine how much I love, and have always loved (since my mom let me watch it) the Academy Awards. I was just explaining to my hubby last night that my love of film segues very easily into my fascination for actors and actresses. "Hi, my name is Becky and I follow celebrities." It's true. I read People and Us Weekly. I watch E! sometimes. And I've even had Oscar parties. You see, the Oscars are my version of the SuperBowl. I used to tape up golden yellow streamers and make tons of party food for a buffet. I handed out ballots and gave out prizes. I even had a red carpet event (consisting of taking each person's picture as they came in the door). Oh I miss those days! Indeed, my love for the Oscars runs deep.

And in years past, so has my disappointment. I used to cringe at the bawdy jokes during the opener and sexual innuendo laced throughout (nobody wants to watch that kind of thing with her dad in the room!). But not last night! Please, Academy, can we always have Hugh Jackman as host? How fabulous was he??? Charming and handsome, his every line was funny (and non-offensive!!!) and his singing ("...I'm Wolverine!") and dancing impeccable. As Marty said, what a classy gentleman, and what a classy show, with the big-band orchestra and the 1920's/30's decorative overtones. Oooh, I never enjoyed an Oscars show quite like the one we had last night! I'm on such a high from it that I couldn't resist a few shout-outs to some of the best and worst:

1. Anne Hathaway, we are long-lost BFFs. (Did anyone else watch the Barbara Walter's pre-show special?) When you got teary-eyed during Shirley McLaine's tribute to your nominated performance, I got teary-eyed with you. Haven't seen "Rachel Getting Married" yet but I did catch your other bride movie with Kate Hudson -- so cute! Let's go shopping. Smooches!
2. Angelina Jolie, how flippin' gorgeous are you, and how utterly typical of you to eschew the normal diamond ropes and go for big, fat emeralds? Loved "Changeling" by the way. Deeply disturbing but oh-so-good.
3. Steve Martin and Tina Fey: please work together. You cracked me up.
4. Ben Stiller, I want you to know that I laughed until I cried and almost spewed my diet Coke.
5. Tim Gunn, can we hang out? We thought you did the best job of all the red carpet interviewers, because you didn't act all fake-chummy. And who doesn't respect your opinions on fashion? I remember when I was tempted to stalk you...
6. "Slumdog Millionaire," please go away. I hate when movies sweep, it's so boring! I mean, the little Indian kids were adorable and I'm sure it's a great movie and all, but it was just...overload.
7. For your information, Sean Penn, I won't be ashamed if the sanctity of the marital relationship continues to be preserved according to its definition, even up to the time when my grandchildren are around. I respect your right to have an opinion, but don't tell me I should be ashamed of myself for having my opinion. Just exactly who are YOU???
8. Bill Mahr, please know that you offended 75% of the world's population, who worship a God in some form. Just because you're a raging atheist doesn't mean other people care.
9. Kid who plays Edward in the "Twilight" movie that I've yet to see...um, you had me at hello.
10. Meryl Streep, you are a Hollywood goddess, as Kate Winslet says. Just enjoy it!
11. Kate Winslet, you might be Meryl's successor at the rate you're going. You're so delightfully British and wonderfully talented. I heart you!
12. Mickey Rourke and for that matter, Robert Downey, Jr.: thank you both for realizing you were worth redemption and a career in the movies. Thank God for second chances.
13. Ryan Seacrest, please go away. Just...go away. Your face is everywhere and you haven't an ounce of sincerity to your name.
14. The Academy: thank you for doing what you did for Heath Ledger's family. There wasn't a dry eye in the audience, nor in my living room. I hope they were given a measure of comfort from knowing their son was and is so appreciated.
15. Finally, Hugh Jackman, please come back next year!

Halfway Day and the February list

Tomorrow is my official Halfway Day. It should be a recognized holiday in the life of every pregnant woman! I'm so excited to be officially 20 weeks, but I can't help but feel overwhelmed by the remaining 50% of this pregnancy. It seems like AGES ago that we found out we are pregnant -- it was November 6th and we were still trying to grasp that Obama was the new president. Needless to say, the baby news took the edge off that particular disappointment! (No offense to my Democrat friends; you know I love you! But doesn't the stimulus package worry you just a wee bit...?) Anyway, I would love advice on how to stay focused on the finish line and not get bogged down by the ticking of the clock. Mamas out there...how did you do it? Does getting busy planning the nursery and going to baby showers help? Or did you find distraction in other things? Or does the time just finally and eventually pass, like waiting for Christmas? I find that it's almost too difficult to imagine William's birth, or those first precious days as Marty and I and Will become a family, or the moment when my mom gets to hold him, or the looks in my sister's eyes (who are so geeked-excited for me), or when I introduce Will to my niece Abby (who asked her mama, "what's a cousin?")...all of these images make me so antsy I practically dance mentally, and not in a good way!

So, on to bloggy business, my monthly "List":

• What I'm reading: Eclipse, the third in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. I've simply consumed these books, and will need to pick up the fourth this weekend, since I only have a few pages left. Someone tell me what to read after I'm finished!
• What we're spending on: Nada. We're in full-tilt savings mode. Not only do we have a big move coming up with all the associated expenses, we also have some new furniture we're planning on purchasing, plus all the untold numbers of baby items we'll need to buy.
• What we're saving for: See above.
• What I need to do: Pray heartily for a good job opportunity/offer for Marty in Indiana. Walk more and work those muscles I'll need in July! Get my bill-paying system set up more efficiently (I'm basically trying to achieve a "click-and-go" system through our banks so I can still take care of finances when in new baby overload).
• What I'm thinking about: Understanding my parents more. I guess you could say I was somewhat overprotected as a child, but now that I have little William inside me, holy cow, do I ever understand their decisions better. We're already talking about a private Christian academy in Greenwood where we'd like to send Will, at least for kindergarten and elementary school. There's just so much politically correct societal propaganda in public school education, and we want to raise our child our own way and teach him about certain things in life when we think he's mature enough for it.
• What I'm working on: This weekend is it. It's time. I'm going to tackle, once and for all, the EVIL STORAGE ROOM*.
• What I'm happy about: My life. Even though I'm antsy for the future, I've never been so content in my present. God has truly, deeply, and abundantly blessed me.

*once upon a time, this girl got married and started a life with her new husband accompanied only by a few clothes and personal belongings. After a couple months, the newlyweds rented a truck and loaded up a garage-full of this girl's 30 years of accumulated possessions and drove it to their home in Tennessee. They unloaded about 3 million boxes and about half of them were stowed in the couple's basement storage room. This girl wanted to take a break from all the shuffling about of things, so she waited a few weeks to get started on this massive project. And she waited too long. This girl got pregnant and immediately entered a period of illness and fatigue that prevented even the most basic tasks from getting accomplished. Then the holidays came and went...and suddenly it's been a few months and there those darn boxes sit, taunting her. And she's tired of being taunted. So she's going in. Her husband is going to attach a rope to her (burgeoning) belly so she is not lost in the madness. You might want to say prayers.

William's nursery

I know it probably seems a bit premature to be planning these things, especially considering that I have 5 months to go (I can barely tolerate that thought), but now that I know who my little William is (the love grows exponentially when the baby finally has an identity!!!), I can't wait to get started on collecting all the things he'll need in his babyhood!

We couldn't resist. We registered at Target the other night. We searched the Internet for a couple hours on Monday, figuring out what our mutual taste would be for our son's room decor (we are both opinionated people, so it took us a couple hours!). We finally decided on this jungle animals theme. Note: I'm not the most theme-y girl in the world decor-wise, but I loved the smiling faces on these animals and could just imagine making a little lion roar playfully at Will and getting him to giggle...needless to say, after that image, I was sold! We're still debating whether to paint the walls a sunny yellow or a leafy jungle green color...although I think we're leaning toward sunny yellow. Marty loves the khaki and chocolate brown colors especially, while I love the fun oranges and yellows and the accents of blue and green. It's masculine without being in-your-face BLUE!

So anyway, we registered for this set called Tiddliwinks Jungle Friends. It's so cute and affordable, and as I'm told by knowing friends, it better be affordable because it would make me ill to subject expensive bedding to the repeated washings I'm told I'll have to do, especially with a wee boy! It was incredible fun to watch my husband coo (forgive me, honey) over baby socks. He even stole the scanner for a bit to zap some items of his choosing, including a pair of high-top infant tennishoes with lions embroidered on them.

I do need help on something, though...aforementioned knowing friends have told me not to use the quilt that comes with the set for actually bedding down the baby in his crib, but to use it for tummy time or decoration purposes. I'm thinking I'd like to do the latter, but I need to find one of those quilt hangers, and more specifically, one that's designed for the size of a baby quilt. Does anyone know where I can find such a thing? I would also welcome any other suggestions on how to accent William's nursery without buying every little item in the crib set (for example, I don't need the hamper in the set, nor the wall hangings necessarily). I'd like to do something decorative with William's name or monogram, and maybe also something literary (Jungle Book?). Like I said, I'd love suggestions!

Announcing...

Hello everyone!

My mommy and daddy are ecstatic to announce that I'm a BOY!!!

Yes, I sure fooled my mommy. She was so shocked to hear the news and see the visual proof that she told Daddy, "the universe just shifted!" She was really expecting me to be a girl, but Mommy has already told me a dozen times today that she's so proud of her little man and couldn't be happier about my coming arrival into the world. (By the way, Mommy has a picture of the proof but can't seem to bring herself to post pictures of my privates on the Internet, so y'all will just have to believe us!)

Just wanted to let you all know what keeps me busy during the day. Yes, I've begun kicking my mommy in earnest now and sometimes she even feels me do my barrel-rolls!

I also like to suck my thumb...

...and ponder on the meaning of life...

...when I'm not practicing my football kick!

Oh, silly me! I forgot to introduce myself! My name is...

~William Champion Conway~

Mommy and Daddy are going to call me "Will" when Daddy is not calling me "Champ." William is one of mommy's favorite names of all time -- very British, she says -- and Champion is my great-grandma's maiden name. My daddy dearly loved his Grandma Lucic and wants to honor her in this way.

One other thing; my daddy took this picture of my mommy this morning before they went to the doctor's office and I rocked their world! See how big I'm getting in there?

As soon as Mommy is off work today, she and Daddy are going to go shopping for me. They've waited this long and Mommy says she just can't wait anymore!

p.s. My Mommy profusely apologizes for referring to me as "she" before now. She'll amend this.

On behalf of Cupid...

In the 21st century, Cupid has decided to rely on more efficient means of matching lovers...

I don't know if I have any readers who are single, but I couldn't resist a plug for eHarmony. The site is hosting a free weekend in honor of Valentine's Day, and this special is going to run from Friday (today) to Monday. If you're looking for Mr. (or Miss) Right and you've never tried it, just make a quick visit and look around -- read some of the stories!

Not only did it work for me and my Marty, but also Marty's best friend Preston and his new wife, Misty. eHarmony matched them in the fall, and they eloped on New Year's Eve -- how romantic!

I love you Marty, my forever Valentine!

Quickening

You know how they say a watched pot never boils? Apparently the key to finally getting to feel your baby kick is to become totally engrossed in something else and forget all about even being pregnant for awhile! Which is just what happened a little while ago. My work today is quite mentally taxing, so I was layers and layers deep into it when all of a sudden, I felt an unmistakeable kick. I've felt little flutterings before, but nothing I could say with certainty was the baby moving or kicking. But this...this was without a doubt the baby kicking me, because just about a minute later, he kicked me again! I think he got uncomfortable and was just rearranging, but his moment of discomfort was my moment of pure joy!!!

Thank you, my sweet baby, for kicking your mama after repeated pleadings to do so. Mommy will remember this act of obedience, that's one free get-out-of-jail card for you!

Happiness

Happiness is, in no particular order,

1. Getting to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time yesterday. We've seen the heart beating on ultrasound 3 times now, but no audio. During our visit yesterday, the doctor whipped out the regular ole doppler and found Baby's heart beating right away. She tried to stimulate the baby to move a bit but my child refused to budge. I couldn't help but laugh -- this little person is so much like his mother. When we're napping, please leave us alone! But what a reassuring, sweet musical sound: whoosh-whoosh-whoosh. It almost sounded to me like the steady beat of a dog panting! I'm just weird, probably. Biggest news of all: we're tentatively scheduled for the big gender-discovery ultrasound on President's Day, February 16th! We specifically asked for that day because Marty, as a government employee, gets that day off (don't get me started on all the government holidays, so jealous!). Therefore, I'm going to post a poll -- please vote on whether you think it's a boy or a girl!
2. The fact that this little girl went home from the hospital yesterday. Just about 3 weeks ago, I asked everyone to join me in praying for Harper and her family. At that point it was unclear if she would survive. Today this darling little girl is at home, sleeping in her own crib, healed from pneumonia. God is good. He is so very good. I feel privileged to have joined with hundreds of others praying for this very outcome!
3. Getting to sleep here last night:Yes, our mattresses finally came (after a snow delay, curses on you snow!) and we finally moved into the bedroom where our bed frame has been sitting, quite lonely, for several months. Excuse the wrinkly appearance of the duvet, I should have steamed it but oh that's right, I'm fresh out of steamers (and there's no way I'm ironing a king-size duvet). I used to work in an upscale department store and I got addicted to those upright, hand-held steamers. It's now going on the "to buy" list!
4. Reading this book:Yes, you heard me right. Judge me all you want, this book was ridiculously good. I enjoyed nearly everything about it. I jumped on the Twilight wagon quite late (nope, didn't see the movie), but I'm now a huge fan. I would never have thought I'd be interested in a vampire love story, but that's how engaging this book really is. I'm jealous of the author, her writing is so seemingly effortless! Marty and I have a Barnes and Noble date tonight to pick up the sequel, and maybe the next one, too! Did I mention I just bought this book on Monday? Couldn't put it down!
5. The fact that it's Friday. I love weekends with my hubby. We're going to see our dear friends Mike and Jen and their babies on Saturday night, and I love hanging out with them. Other than that, it will be a quiet weekend of bliss inside our marital bubble! Have a fabulous weekend everyone (and stop by your local bookstore to pick up Twilight!).

thoughts on parenting

As my belly gets bigger and the countdown tally of days gets smaller, my thoughts are turning more and more often to parenting. Probably a good thing, right? I find that I'm very interested in how others choose to parent their children, but I also find myself feeling more and more critical of the choices that some people make for their children (observations from blogs, TV, real-life, etc.). My critical thoughts are seeming to boil down to one issue: how much control parents exert on their children.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about discipline here -- Marty and I already have pretty solid ideas on discipline and those are basically a merging of how he and I were disciplined as children by our parents. For example, my parents chose different methods of discipline for each child; spankings didn't really work on me, but sticking me in a corner for 10 minutes of absolute silence was pure torture for me and the lesson came through loud and clear each time I was disciplined this way. But I digress. What I'm talking about it is more along the line of personal, private time and the ability to make personal, private choices. For example, my sisters and I were taken to the library about once a week or every other week, but my parents never screened or censored the books we checked out. They let us explore our own interests and didn't obsess over illustrations, word choice, content, etc. Of course, an attempt to check out a dirty novel would have been immediately halted, but that never happened and that's not really my point here. I guess it just irks me deep inside knowing that some parents feel the need to screen and censor every little image or sound or word or thought or feeling that occurs in their children! Not to mention the need that I see some parents displaying to control every moment of their children's lives. Some of my most cherished time as a teenager was spent in my own room in privacy, listening to music I chose, reading books I chose, talking on the phone with friends I chose, and dreaming dreams that were all my own. This is where a person finds her own identity! I see the job of parents to guide their children toward good and beautiful things. I remember being encouraged to go read a book under a tree in the summer. I remember books being read to us; my mom read us Little Women after dinner and my dad read me Cinderella before bed (he does a great Fairy Godmother voice, by the way..."bippity-boppity-boo!"). Plus all those library trips! So is it any wonder that I and my sisters grew up to be voracious readers? But here's the real beauty of it...my sister Sarah reads science fiction (Michael Crichton) and disaster books (Isaac's Storm and The Sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald). My sister Katie devours history books (biographies of presidents, the Civil War) and can't get enough of art and art history books. Of course, I read lots of fiction and anything I can get my hands on relating to British history. Sarah has a degree in Biology, Katie in Art History, and I have my degree in English. We are such different people with very different interests, but I have to thank my parents again and again for letting us choose who we wanted to be, not some cookie-cutter version of themselves or what they thought the model child should look like.

I should also make it clear that my parents were very discerning about what children they let me play with, but they were also very generous once they made those decisions. I went to countless slumber parties as a child and had many of my own. I was also not allowed to date until I was 17, but my parents didn't balk (although my dad might have had a small heart attack) when I brought home the boy with an earring and a definite smell of cigarette smoke on his clothes. (I made increasingly better and better choices from then on...)

I guess my point is this, I think parents should provide all kinds of direction and guidance, but at the end of the day, let their children be who they are. Let them make their own choices, even if those choices are mistakes. Supervise, but don't control! If my life is any indication, this method has the best results. My sisters and I are extremely close to our parents and we all thoroughly enjoy the adult friendships that we now share with them.

Of course, I wonder how I'll feel when I have my own child? I already think I might not let her out the door for kindergarten... :)

trying to focus

A coworker wrote me this morning and said, "Today just feels like a Monday. Blah." I wrote her back and said, "It's a Monday in January no less. Double-blah." The sky is gray and the landscape is bleak. I feel just as gray and bleak inside! I simply hate this time of year. My precious Dr. Records in Indiana diagnosed me many moons ago as having a moderate case of seasonal anxiety disorder and gave me some tips for dealing, but honestly, the only cure for SAD is straight-up sunshine. And there's precious little of it in east Tennessee right now. Sigh.

So I'm trying to focus on other things, at least for this moment in time. First of all, while my Marty and I were doing serious damage at Wal-Mart on Saturday, we passed the refrigerator of flowers and he just insisted on buying me a dozen pink-and-white tulips. God bless this man, for he knows me well. They have opened so prettily, and they are certainly cheering me today:

When I look at them, I ponder that only the marvelous Creator of the universe could have concocted that shade of green. It just breathes life into your eyes, doesn't it?

I'm also dreaming about the decorating I'm going to do in our apartment in Indiana when we get there...our master has a sink/vanity area in the bedroom, in addition to the sink/vanity in the bathroom. Guess who gets the former vanity??? And you better believe I'm going to girl-ify it and French-ify it within an inch of its life. Okay, that expression makes no sense in that context, but you get my drift. Anyway, we're doing our master bed and bath in shades of soft blue, ivory, sunshine yellow, and chocolate brown. In digging through items in the evil storage room, I found a couple of things that I'm ecstatic about using!

The little sign was given to me a few years ago by my BF, Kate. God bless her, for she knows me well. Little did she know how handy it would be a few years down the road! The jar I found a few months ago at TJ Maxx (my marked-down retail lover) for I think 7-8 dollars, and it had to be mine, of course, since it so merrily sports a fleur-de-lis.

In light of the mental nesting going on, I plucked this from my bookshelf for another flip-through:

Sadly, I can't remember for the life of me if Kate or Kristen gave this to me. Either one of you want to claim the gifting of it? In any case, I love this book. It's fun and full of good tips, as well as great quotes, and I can't resist posting some here:

"Adornment is never anything except a reflection of the heart." ~Coco Chanel

"Although I look like a drag queen's Christmas tree on the outside, I am at heart a simple country woman." ~Dolly Parton

"I'm obsessed with having the perfect linens. I sleep a lot. My bed's like a big hug." ~Reese Witherspoon

"I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck." ~Emma Goldman

Aren't those great? Especially Reese's quote. Yes, we'd be BFFs if only she knew I existed. A woman who declares her love for sleep with such passion could only be a true kindred spirit of mine.

Before I go (and because I'm hungry and craving Spaghettio's -- I know, I know, YUCK -- but this baby hearts them so being the good mama I am, I shall appease her), I wanted to leave y'all with an amazing recipe that I tried last night and both of us loved, and it was ridiculously easy. So far, so good on keeping to meal planning and prep this week, yay for me!

Lasagna Toss

1 pound lean ground beef
2 green peppers, chopped
1 tsp. minced garlic*
1 jar spaghetti sauce**
1/4 cup Italian dressing
12 lasagna noodles, broken into quarters***
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese****
2 cups water

Saute green peppers in a bit of olive oil for 2-4 minutes; add ground beef and brown. Add garlic, spaghetti sauce, water, and dressing; bring to boil. Stir in noodles; reduce heat to medium-low and cover. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 30 minutes. Sprinkle with cheese; let stand 5 minutes or until cheese is melted.

*I used only a sprinkle or two of garlic salt because I was out of garlic, but the flavor was great as-is, so I don't know how much garlic I'd use. I guess it depends on how much you like garlic flavor.
**Please give Bertolli marinara with Burgundy wine a try. It's the best jar sauce I've ever had.
***Some of my lasagna noodles cracked into smaller pieces than this, but that's okay. It was good to have some bite-sized pieces and some pieces that required a cut.
****We used half a block of mozzarella cheese, I think it was 8 ounces! My husband really loves cheese, and it was so yummy with the extra. I guess use the recipe as a minimum, but add liberally as you wish!

One final note, I would love to hear what my readers like to focus on when the weather is so blah and there seems to be nothing to look forward to...

the (very late) January list

What I'm reading: The Life of Elizabeth I, by Alison Weir.
It's honestly a page-turner, which I know can be hard to believe, because it's a history book! But my-oh-my, what fascinating people in such fascinating times. Elizabeth I is truly my hero. And okay, I'll admit this much, if my baby is a girlie, that's going to be her middle name. Already daddy-approved. :)

What we're spending on: More maternity clothes. And I'll be darned if I don't do it as cheaply as possible, thanks Old Navy! I really need more things than I'd counted on, even things like pajama pants/loungewear. My pre-pregnancy pajama pants still fit, per se, but they like to roll and slide down my belly and I end up walking around with an exposed abdomen. In the middle of January. Not exactly pleasant! So I need items with a little more structure and support; things that will stay put. I really can't wait for warm weather when a t-shirt and some maternity capris and some comfy sandals will suffice every day!

What we're saving for: Not mattresses anymore, Woo-Hoo!!! We're not saving for anything in particular right now, yet lots of things in theory. That made little sense. Basically, we're going to be replacing some furniture (and upgrading to a plasma TV, for my husband's sake) when we make the big move to Indiana. I have a list of things we'll need to buy, but there's really no particular order on it right now. We just want the savings account to grow big and fat and be rarin' to go when we become Hoosiers again!

What I need to do: Still working on going through items in the evil storage room. In my defense, I've made a dent. Not a big dent, but a dent nonetheless. Sometimes, in impatient and impractical moments, I feel tempted to light a match... But no, even clothes that I don't want or don't fit anymore can go to Goodwill or be given to friends or even sold, if I feel up to that chore. If you're a petite medium and wouldn't mind a box of clothes to at least browse through before you pitch 'em, let me know!

What I'm thinking about: Is it a boy or a girl? I'm just dying to know. And I promise I'll share as soon we know! I've pretty much fallen in love with some baby bedding from Pottery Barn (I would get it in both colors and do a French country/shabby chic-type decor), so if it's a boy, I'll have to probably fall out of love with it (because you know it'll be discontinued by the time I actually have a girl) and start thinking in shades of blue.

What I'm working on: Meal-planning and appropriate grocery-shopping. I had a hit week last week but this week's been a bit of a miss. I've decided I actually need some new cookbooks (simple recipes, easy dinners, Crock-pot meals, that kind of thing), so if anyone has a great suggestion, I would welcome any recommendation!

What I'm happy about: My new toy. I'd mentioned in the post about my birthday that I knew my hubby was going to get me something really cool, and oh, he didn't fail me! He bought me an iPod Touch!I don't think I've stopped playing with her since she came into my life. With Internet access, iTunes, and all kinds of applications like Sudoku and crosswords, a person could never get bored with her. Thanks again, my Marty, for being the world's best gift-giver (and I know this is rare in husbands, so I'm very grateful!).

One other note before I go...Please notice the updated blogroll in the right column. My "blog attention" can be somewhat fickle, but these blogs have stood the test of time with me and I keep going back to them. And there's a new one on there...check out my new friend, the Shabby Princess!

My blog friend Sarah gave me this award! (Thank you, Sarah!) Here are the rules:

*Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
* Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.
* List at least 10 honest things about yourself. (Sarah only did 7, so I'm only going to do 7 because believe it or not, it's hard to write random things about yourself!)

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1. I love to cook things in the Crock-pot. Right now I'm making Slow Cooker Corn Chowder (link will take you to the recipe on AllRecipes.com). In fact, I love AllRecipes.com. My best friend Kate got me onto it and it's completely addictive. My favorite feature is the ingredient search, where you can plug in a few ingredients you have on hand and feel like making a meal out of, and the search engine does its magic and offers you a selection of recipes to try! Anyway, back to my love of the Crock-pot...1) I love that your meal-in-the-making also makes your house smell so warm and inviting, 2) I love that you can do the dishes after the prep work and the kitchen is already clean by the time dinner is served, and 3) I love that cooking in the Crock-pot is almost fool-proof -- it's pretty hard to mess up a slow-cooker recipe.

2. I hate to clean toilets. I realize most people share in this hatred, but mine is to the level of detestation. The worst part is the snakey-coiled-undercarriage of the darn thing; it collects dust (and other things) and you have to bend your body in ungodly ways to run a sponge over it. I don't mind bathtubs and sinks, but if you're going to do a really good job, you're going to get really soaked in the process. Which limits when you can do it. I would love to have a maid just for cleaning bathrooms. In fact, Marty has said that as long as I'm a working mom (which I plan to be until baby #2 comes along), that he's entirely supportive of me spending some money on this. Actually, in another life, I did pay for housecleaning a few times...and it was awesome. I'd feel a little guilty indulging just now, since I work from home, but once I have a baby and I'm being a full-time stay-at-home mom in addition to being a full-time stay-at-home medical editor, I'll let myself off the hook of being a full-time stay-at-home housekeeper!

3. I'm still having a hard time believing I'm pregnant and that everything is going well. When you've waited and dreamed and hoped for as long as I have, I'm sure this is a normal reaction. Without the nausea and fatigue, sometimes I even forget that I'm pregnant and then the realization comes back to me, and my inner response is always something like, "Really???" I couldn't even look at the monitor during the first ultrasound because I was so convinced something would be wrong, until my doctor and my husband started carrying on a conversation about the beating heart! I can't help but feel incredulous and astounded. And I sure hope it goes away sometime soon, for the reality keeps getting bigger every day and will be here before I know it!

4. I love fresh flowers. In that past life I mentioned earlier, I had space carved out in my budget for fresh flowers every week. Every Friday afternoon I'd stop at McNamara florist on my way home, bop into the refrigerator room, and pick up some purple tulips or two-toned roses or something fun and cheerful to enjoy for the whole weekend. Nothing makes a room feel more pleasant or complete than a vase full of blooming flowers. I need to re-adopt my habit of weekly fresh flowers! (Can you tell I have expensive taste?)

5. I have crazy hair. Some people like to call it "naturally wavy" but I call it "naturally confused." Honestly, it can't decide if it wants to go straight or curly, so it does this in-between nonsense that is wretched to look at (and even worse to wear). I never let my hair air-dry and I never leave the house until it's been curled or straightened -- it needs to be encouraged along one line or the other!

6. I am really coming to appreciate delayed gratification. If you've followed my blog for the last few months, you know that Marty and I have been saving for some king-size mattresses for quite a while. Well, it took (seemingly) forever, but we saved long enough and hard enough that we actually had a surplus when we went furniture-shopping, enough to buy the mattresses and the two nightstands in our bedroom set! When the sales guy asked us how we'd like to pay, it was enormously satisfying to say "Cash." It would have been so easy to swipe a card, but it's going to be much easier on us in the long-run when we continue to make our way in the world credit card-free. (Of course, we have credit cards and always will, but they are allocated for emergencies and such things, not for day-to-day purchasing or financing large items!) It's so tough sometimes to stick to a rule, but discipline is really a beautiful thing.

7. Very random items: I hate regular M&Ms but I love peanut M&Ms. Especially by the bowlful and with a big glass of milk. I love chapstick; Burt's Bees is my favorite. I love the smell of eucalyptus, especially when it's fresh. Let's see...when I feel overwhelmed, I make lists. It's instant sanity on a piece of paper! I still haven't ordered the large prints and frames of my wedding pictures, and we've been married for 6 months! (In my defense, I've been pregnant almost 4 of those months...) I have to fold laundry directly from the dryer, ie, hot and wrinkle-less. If clothes have sat in the basket and are cold, I'll stick 'em back in the dryer for reheating before drying. If they've sat LONG enough, I'll re-wash them! I'm weird like that. Well, that's all I can think of for now!

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The bloggers I'd like to honor are (although I doubt some of them will participate because they are busy, busy mommies!): Elisabeth, Kate, Ashley (mama-to-be!), Aimee, Emily (brand-new mom!), Lauren, and Liz (mama to a crazy couch-eating dog).

as promised...

15 weeks, 1 day pregnant

Sorry the lighting is not great, but I remembered to do this at night-time and I hate garish overhead lighting. Anyhoo. The next will be taken by the light of day! I've decided that I don't want to know if I'm showing/popped out too much for 15 weeks...I've been lectured by quite a few people who've told me this is my pregnancy and unique to me and to quit comparing already! Good advice that I intend to follow. And now that I actually see myself in this way, I've realized I seem to be carrying high. Oooh, what does this mean? For some reason, I love old wives' tales. If you are an old wife and you tell tales, do please share.

Please pray

I have a "blog-friend" in Arkansas named Kelly. We've emailed a couple of times but mostly I feel like I know her well from reading her blog. She is truly a shining spirit and a sweet soul; her happiness and joy bless me often. Kelly and her husband Scott prayed for a baby for a couple of years, and their joy became complete tonight when their baby girl, Harper, was born. Then every new mama's worst nightmare came true: Harper had trouble breathing and it was determined that she has severe pneumonia. This sweet baby is now being transported via helicopter to a children's hospital where she will soon undergo a surgery to save her life.

I can't even begin to express how this distresses me. And I don't think it's just because I'm pregnant and I can only begin to imagine what Kelly is going through. It's more than that -- it's the horror of a small child struggling for life. It's the horror of a child literally being flown away from her mother's eager and empty arms. It's just plain horrible. This is one of those times when faith takes the driver's seat. You either believe that God is good and sovereign -- no matter what, or you abandon that belief. Sometimes the best things in life are the hardest. It's hard to believe when you hear a story like that, but believe I will and believe I must. It is my heart's prayer that sweet Harper be restored to health, and that she be restored to her mama and daddy's loving arms. If you can, please join me in this prayer.

pregnant ramblings

So tomorrow I'll be 15 weeks pregnant. I maintain this is one of the hardest stages in pregnancy...I'm out of the evil first trimester when fatigue and nausea ruled my life (I really don't remember very many specific days, it's all kind of a blur!) and I'm coasting through the second trimester, which is a good thing, but it has its drawbacks. I've commented to several people that, at least during the first trimester, you have daily, if not moment-to-moment, reminders that you're pregnant and definitely growing a baby. Once you've hit second trimester and all the nastiness fades away, though, you begin eagerly awaiting all the kicking that will be your comfort and joy (and reassurance) until the end. However, even though I've seen the baby kicking on ultrasound (more on that in a minute), I have yet to feel it. Okay, I've had a few sensations but I can't convince my mind that it was the baby! Anyway, it feels like the limbo stage of pregnancy, and well, I don't like it. I like reassurance. I'm a sucker for reassurance, especially when it comes to this much-desired child.

Speaking of which, I did indeed get an ultrasound on my birthday. It was not scheduled, but let's just say my doctor was amenable to, uh, circumventing the strict schedule, especially after he heard it was my birthday! Oh yes, I used all my ammunition to get that ultrasound, and thank goodness I have the world's most pleasant and jovial OB/GYN, who thinks I'm just a hoot! Another point of gratitude was that this ultrasound was performed on top of my belly and not the other kind -- I was really OVER those. Anyway, so I got smeared with the goo and the doc hit the lights and my baby became star of the show once more. And once again, we were just awestruck at this beautiful child of ours...we saw her (for the sake of convenience, and also beause I have a feeling, I'm using "her") perfectly shaped head, spinal cord, even toes. I was blown away by those baby toes. I had an overpowering urge to somehow get to those toes and start smooching on them! We watched her wiggle around and I saw definite signs of "leave me alone, I was napping" from her! She had her little legs crossed at the ankles in a reclining position (a family trait!) and after continued pressure from the ultrasound wand, she kicked off and squirmed away, trying to nestle down and go night-night again. Oh, soooooooo like her mother. Anyway, I so deeply wish I could share a picture, but the ones that came out, well, they didn't really come out. My doctor said, "some women just don't transmit ultrasound waves very well, and seems you're one of them." Great. He did tell me that our 20-week ultrasound when we find out the sex (and OF COURSE we are) will be performed at another location, and that the machines are a lot more high-tech and will get me a great picture, regardless. Whew. At least we saw her clear as day on the monitor! I'm trying to make the memories last until the end of February, but like I said, without any kicking and squirming that I can feel, it's a bit tough.

As far as other pregnancy things go...we've picked out names. And they're set in stone. I'm still debating sharing them here, even though we don't mind sharing and our families have been told. I guess I'm just wary of the oddball bit of criticism, because I honestly love these names and love their significance to us. I've also started looking at baby bedding and nursery items, and saw on another girl's blog a suggestion to visit Serena and Lily. Um, gorgeous bedding, but totally un-gorgeous prices. I have definite ideas for a girl's nursery, which will be in raspberry and a fresh green color (it's impossible to explain the green; it's not apple, lime, or sage...it's just meadow-fresh-looking). And here's the place where readers tell me where to go shopping for inexpensive bedding in just those colors! Seriously, I'd love some suggestions. (By the way, I really appreciated the suggestions on pregnancy books; I'm glad to hear that everyone and her sister HATES "What to Expect..." because I really didn't like it myself).

Well, that's it for now! More on non-pregnancy-related life later...

New Year's news and already dying for Spring

Doesn't this picture give you a lovely zen feeling?

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope all my friends are recovering from the holidays in good order. I'm not...yet. I intend to amend that, but right now there's still a Christmas tree up in my living room (I have a good excuse, we didn't get home from our 2 weeks away until Sunday night!), piles of laundry to do, and gifts to unpack and put away. Not to mention the empty fridge and pantry that keep mocking me... Fortunately, I got all the bills paid yesterday and I'm caught up with work, so I'm not completely slacking.

Tomorrow is my 32nd birthday and Peanut and I have a doctor's appointment. I'm not sure if we're having an ultrasound but I'm prepared to needle, wheedle, and beg for one! If all else fails, I'm playing the birthday card. It's just that at nearly 14 weeks, I know we'll be able to see much more baby this time, if we're allowed. A little birdie told me what my husband is giving me for my birthday, and I'm really pumped about it! We'll close out the day by going to my favorite Italian restaurant here in JC, called Alta Cucina. They have this amazing tomato bisque, and their pasta sauces are incredible. I can't wait!

I've always liked the fact that my birthday so closely follows the advent of a new year. It really helps in reflecting on the year gone by and planning for the year ahead. In addition to planning for a baby in July, we're also planning...dum-dum-de-dum!...a move to Indiana!!! As soon as we found out the baby was on the way, the wheels started turning in Marty's mind (unbeknownst to me at first) about the best place where we could raise our children. Because Marty's parents are both deceased, the only grandparents our children will know will be my parents. Throw in a heaping helping of close-by aunts and uncles and cousins for our children, and Indiana becomes very tempting. Once Marty told me his thoughts, I was overjoyed, to be quite honest. I have not been very happy in east Tennessee. Marty is the light of my life, but being alone all day, never seeing my family, and never even getting out with a friend for lunch or a pedicure (and I've looked for friends here, believe me), puts too much pressure on him as my sole companion and comfort. It's a testament to him that he's done such a good job keeping me fairly content! So, while we were in town over the holidays, we went apartment shopping and already signed up for an apartment we'll probably get in May (there's a waiting list). Since I work from home and could quite literally work from a beach in Bora Bora (if only), the one remaining task at hand is to find Marty a good job. He's starting to put out the feelers, but if anyone in Indiana has a good job lead for an attorney with a decade of experience in labor law, workers' compensation, etc., please do let us know! We would LOVE to be settled and comfy-cozy in our apartment in Indy before the baby arrives, so that's the plan. I have to admit, I'm geeked-out excited about it! The apartment complex does painting for you (for a fee, of course); all you do is hand over a few buckets of paint and voila! Also, after the hassle and chaos of our last move, we decided we're going to pay movers. There's no way I can help while great with child, and I don't want to have my parents help us, and I don't want the burden on my husband, either. It's definitely an expense, but I think a worthy one. So, my big project for the coming months is to purge, purge, purge our belongings and mentally decorate our new home, so I can walk right in and get settled.

Spring has always been my favorite season, but as you can tell, I have a lot of new reasons to look forward to the warmer months. I'll be moving HOME, my baby will be coming soon, and I'll get to have that lunch and pedicure with a friend when I need it (are you reading this Ellen?). So, come soon Spring!

the (late) December list

What I'm reading: What to Expect When You're Expecting. Of course. Although I've found it sadly insufficient in many areas. Does anybody like the Q&A format? I surely don't. Does anybody have any better suggestions for pregnancy reading? I also just finished reading Remember Me? by the same girlie who wrote all the lovely Shopaholic books. Every now and then I need a British chick-lit fix!

What we're spending on: Christmas, but thankfully that's almost finished. With 4 days to spare...seriously, without online shopping and my sweet UPS lady (who asks me about the baby every time I see her now, since she's seen me disheveled and ill and pale so often!), there would be practically zero Christmas for my loved ones. Also, my sweet husband took me on a bit of a shopping spree in Motherhood (maternity store) last night. All I can say is, pregnancy jeans are IT. I mean, hello beautiful comfort!!! Now I don't dread getting out of pajamas, and that's a big deal for me right now.

What we're saving for: Yup, still those king-size mattresses. Although I'm really proud of us -- we were able to sock away some of our Christmas gift money, and the plan is to have our mattresses and fully ensconced in bed-heaven by next month!

What I need to do: Send Christmas cards; send packages to friends and family in North Carolina, Mississippi, and New York; buy a couple of stocking stuffers; do all my laundry and pack to leave for Christmas vacation (nearly 2 weeks' worth!) on Tuesday afternoon! Yee-haw! Family and north, here we come!

What I'm thinking about: my baby, mostly. What mama-to-be doesn't think often of her baby as he or she is being formed in her womb? It occupies quite of bit of my mental activity these days. We've already picked out names, I've had inspiration for a girl's nursery (I will need serious help with a boy's nursery), and oddly, we already got the full prenatal care bill (yeah, that's up to and including JULY). So, a lot of the practical things have been done or are being taken care of, leaving me time to think about more profound things, like what kind of mama will I be???

What I'm working on: Planning lots of changes in the New Year. More on that to come...

What I'm happy about: Seeing Marty be excited about his baby...it blesses me so much to experience HIS happiness about the babe. Also, getting to spend nearly 2 weeks with family and friends...and especially my nieces and nephews. There's nothing like experiencing Christmas with children, is there? Also, being on the very cusp of turning the corner into second trimester. Just a few days to go, and relief from fatigue and sickness is (supposedly) in sight!

Vote on my poll!

See the poll to the right --->

The results of this poll will either make me feel better or far, far worse. No pressure.

Tagged

I was tagged by Sarah at This Girl's Life to do this little fun survey.

The Rules:
*Link to the person who tagged you.
*Share 7 random/weird facts about you.
*Tag 7 people at the end of the post, and include links to their blogs.

1) Since becoming pregnant, I've had far more vivid dreams than usual. And usually, my dreams are about...pizza. I woke up one morning dreaming of long, stringy, hot mozzarella cheese being pulled away from a pepperoni pizza. Golly, I think I want pizza again tonight.

2) My husband and I met on eHarmony. I think I've shared that before, but it's one of those facts we enjoy sharing with other people because it always seems to generate a unique reaction. For some reason, it makes us kind of celebrity-ish. People always seem terribly impressed and pressure us to "do a commercial."

3) I went to a private Baptist school up until my senior year, when I transferred to a public high school. That was a rude awakening! I was offered -- let's just say "illegal drugs" my first week of school and I think I just stared blankly at the kid, like "are you for real?" I felt like I'd walked into an after-school special.

4) "Dallas" is my favorite TV show of all time. I used to watch it with my grandparents while they babysat us, and Grandpa would give me a Coke in a glass bottle, apple slices, and Cheez-Its. Man, those were good times!

5) Speaking of favorites, it seems I have a "favorite" everything. Favorite flower (lily of the valley), favorite bird (morning dove), favorite brand of tights (DKNY), favorite upscale store (Von Maur), favorite game (Trivial Pursuit), favorite perfume (Jivago), favorite this, favorite that. Ask me what my "favorite" is of anything and 9 times out of 10, I'll have a ready answer for you.

6) I always take a bath (or hot shower, if a bath is unavailable) before bed. It's a habit I started in high school to unwind and it's one I intend to keep for the duration. I have a thing about enjoying a nice bath, slipping into really great pajamas, then further slipping in between really great sheets. I'm a big fan of R&R.

7) If I could meet any celebrity, anyone at all, I would choose Paula Deen. I feel she could teach me any number of things, and only some of those in the kitchen! She seems such a warm, wise, loving lady, and I love her sense of humor and that great Southern accent. Paula's people: leave a comment and we'll arrange a meeting. :)

Okay, I tag: Ellen, Kate, Aimee, Ashley, Sebi, Liz, and Emily.