the May list, in June

What we're watching: Well, with The Office and 30 Rock and American Idol (less said on that last one, the better...whatevs, America) already on summer hiatus, there's just about zilch to watch. So we're falling back on our favorite basics: Food Network (we can't get enough Ina Garten and Paula Deen in my house) and HGTV, of course. The one TV show I'm watching (I can't say that Marty actually watches it...he dozes throughout and makes a comment now and then) is the new season of Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. I can't help it, I love this girl. She just cracks me up, and I'm obsessed with the decor in her bedroom. It's a little too Hollywood for me, but it's definitely French-inspired, and I just heart it so. I wish I could find pictures of her little conversational area...great chairs and a great rug!

You can see the fabulous headboard and the lovely blue on the walls.

More of that delicious blue paint color, plus ivory curtains (on my wish list), and gold lamps (we have burnished gold lamp shades on ivory porcelain lamps).

What I'm reading: Speaking of Paula Deen...

I'm reading her autobiography/memoirs, and whoa, there's a lot more to this lady than even I thought, and I knew that there was a lot going on in there. What a life she has led...and what challenges she has overcome. This woman knows poverty and depression and hopelessness, and still kept fighting for a dream. So very inspiring...and quite funny, too. I recommend it, but remember, she's a sassy woman from the South, so those swear words slip out now and then!

What we're spending on: Baby equipment, what else? I can't believe how much stuff you have to have for a baby, and we're not even getting everything "out there" that we could possibly be guilted/swayed into buying by the baby-advertising machines (and even word of mouth). I mean, we didn't want to go with the cheapy $99 Graco carseat, nor could we afford (who can?) the $3000 Bug-a-Boo strollers, so we went upper-middle of the road: a Chicco Cortina travel system.A salesperson could only sell me so much on ergonomics and such things, but safety? Yeah, that's a big deal to us. The car seat base on this system was rated #1 in safety!

What we're saving for: a house. Now that we've really created a home together (furniture, kitchen supplies, electronics, etc.) -- and I have to remember sometimes that we haven't even been married a whole year yet -- it's time to start really plugging away at our savings for a house. This little boy inside of me needs a backyard and a swingset in the not-so-far-away future! I'm already mentally going through some of my favorite neighborhoods on the southside of Indy to show Marty...

What I need to do: Oh, the to-do list is still a mile long, but we seem to be getting little bits done here and there. We want another few long stretches of time of dealing with the basement (yes, the EVIL STORAGE ROOM has kind of taken over the entire basement), and I think we'll actually have purged through all the stuff we need to get rid of, stored and organized everything else, and then we'll create a nice guest suite for visitors when they start coming in about a month or so!

What I'm thinking about: the fact that my maternity leave starts a month from today. Oh hallelujah! I keep saying that phrase, but it means so much to me to have this light at the end of the tunnel. I mean, Will is going to come whenever HE decides to come, but Mama can take off work on her own timing. The way it looks right now is that I'll have at least a week off, to myself, before Will's due date. I'm going to put a whole new spin on relaxation: I just might spend entire half-days in the bathtub reading. I can't wait!

Things I've learned this month: That physical limitations are real and can't be ignored. We didn't end up going to Charleston this past weekend because my body simply couldn't do it. In fact, the trip from a couple weekends ago was still affecting me physically late last week -- I feel like I only bounced back just a couple days ago from that huge excursion of energy! With all the swelling I'm experiencing, plus the nearly 6-pound baby I'm carrying, plus the Southern heat of May/June (it's 86 degrees here, y'all!), there's just no way I can be out and about for hours at a time. It's very frustrating -- oh, the things you take for granted until you can't do them anymore -- but I'm learning to listen to my body and obey its signals, so I don't end up doubled-over with Braxton-Hicks contractions, sweating like a pig, and puffing for a good, deep breath. In the middle of a store. With people watching. Not good!

What I'm happy about: This is so expected and cliche, but I can hardly think of anything else these days -- getting my baby OUT! I don't want that to sound ungrateful, because my gratitude for this little blessing is deep and wide, but at this point in pregnancy, when you feel like your body is a joke, and energy is a myth, and you can actually see how big your baby's feet are when he pokes them out just under your ribs, it's just TIME to go ahead and have a baby already. Like I told my mom, I didn't pray all those years for pregnancies, I prayed for babies! So I think it's not TOO bad to simply want him on the outside of me, rather than where he is now, pushing my diaphragm up into my throat, my bladder up into my stomach, you get the picture. :)

House Beautiful's list of favorites

In this month's (June) issue of House Beautiful, several designers were asked to share their favorite things, given a list of about 20 categories. It was so much fun to read, mostly because these people are aware of stores and items that I've never even heard of (living in such posh places as Manhattan and LA and Palm Beach), but also because some of their choices were just downright normal (one guy picked Dove as his favorite soap instead of some fancy-schmancy French soap!). I thought it would be fun to share my favorites, and also to get some of you to share yours! Won't you play along with me?

Flower: of course, my beloved lily of the valley, but it's peony season right now and I'm remembering the days when my grandma's driveway was lined with white and pink peonies...

Sofa shape (remember, these questions were posed to interior designers, so I guess this is a question of utmost importance!): We have a great harvest/golden-yellow sectional sofa with nailhead trim that we scored for a steal from a closeout of a nearby Ashley Furniture store. I don't have a picture of it, but I thought I'd share pictures of some "dream" sofas:

I love kidney-shaped sofas (not necessarily this upholstery, though [Horchow sofa]).

I love both the tailored look and the soft green upholstery here (Horchow).I will admit it, I love the girly-ness of this soft blue sofa (Wisteria). It's just so "boudoir" to me!

Stationery: This is something I haven't bought yet, but I would love a set of stationery (cards and sheets) with a toile background and my monogram front and center. Don't know who/where I'd purchase it from...any ideas?

Comfort food: my mom's (warm) homemade bread with her homemade strawberry jam and the biggest glass of milk possible.

Lamp: Several years ago on an antique outing with Kate, in my favorite antique mall in Franklin, Indiana, I scored a set of ivory porcelain lamps for $17 each. I rewired them myself (with a little help from a dude at Home Depot) and bought burnished gold lampshades for them. They sit on our nightstands in our bedroom, and even though Marty hates the twist-turn-off feature (he doesn't like stretching that far), I love them to pieces. Maybe I'll take a picture and post it here later...

Alarm clock (this was another one that had me scratching my head a bit): I just use my cell phone's alarm feature, but perhaps it's a sign of refinement to have a chic alarm clock? Am going to look into this. :)

Everyday dishes: Apilco Tradition Blue-Banded dinnerware from Williams-Sonoma. We love these and how they go so nicely with red and gold, my other favorite kitchen colors.

All-purpose glass: We have Walmart glasses that I absolutely loathe and despise (nearly half have broken just from dishwasher use). However, I have my eye on some glasses at Cost Plus World Market...when I get around to such things again...

Color (remember, this is for decorating purposes): It's too hard to choose between golden yellow and red. They are definitely my favorites.

Soap: Our favorite hand soap for so long was "Sensual Amber" from Bath & Body Works, but for some crazy reason they no longer sell that fragrance in hand soaps. So, I guess we're still trying to find our next favorite soap!

Picture frame: I currently don't have any, but my favorite picture frames are the polished mother-of-pearl ones. I still haven't ordered any wedding pictures, so maybe when those come in I'll have a reason to go out and get some!

Scented candle: Maison candles in vanilla, which I can usually find at SteinMart. Not your average vanilla fragrance, I assure you!

Cleaning supply: Method's all-surface spray in French lavender (the clean, fresh scent is truly addictive).
Coffee table book: We are sans coffee table right now, but in the past I've always set out my "Kings and Queens of England" books. Nothing goes better with coffee than British monarchy. :)

Ice cream: probably Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream with chocolate syrup; however, I love me some Oreo, some Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia, some old-fashioned butter pecan...

Vacuum: We've been inducted into the Oreck cult. We really like the performance of it, but I'm still drawn to the Dyson every time I see a commercial for it (I think it's the British accent...).

Towel: We received some Biltmore "for the home" towels for our wedding, and I think they're some of the best towels I've ever owned. Other than that, I'd go for any fluffy white Egyptian cotton towel.

Sheets: I'm a thread-counter. I truly believe you get what you pay for, in sheets especially. We're snobs and won't get anything below a 700- or 800-thread count.

Coffee or tea: Starbuck's Cafe Verona and Cinnabon's coffee; Constant Comment or Earl Grey for tea.

Chair: I love so many kinds of chairs, but I think my favorites are wingbacks (I've seen the old BBC version of Jane Eyre too many times, with just Mr. Rochester's profile peeking out from beyond a wingback...)

(another beauty from Horchow)

Kitchen gadget: Definitely our new Cuisinart coffeemaker.

Artist: Van Gogh, without a doubt.

Kate and Dan gave us a lovely gold-framed print of this for our wedding.

And that's it! I eliminated a few categories, but these really capture the essence of the article. Please do a list of your own (you don't have to post images like I did; I know how long it can take to upload pix) and leave a comment letting me know you did so, and I'll link you up on this post!

List-less March

So my faithful readers, all half-dozen(?) of you, know that I do my "List" every month to chit-chat about the latest doings in my brain and in the Conway household. Well, no List has appeared this month and I'm not going to attempt one on this, the last day of the month, either. To put it bluntly, it's been a difficult month.

Marty had an old estate case to close out in Memphis last week, and most of the month was spent on pins and needles waiting to know how certain aspects of this case (mostly cooperation from other people) were going to play out, and how this would affect Marty's presentation to the judge. I helped in any way I could, including Internet research and signing for 8 zillion mailers from the post office guy (who no longer stares at my pretty substantial belly but just smiles instead), but my contribution was just a tiny drop in the bucket compared to the hours and hours and hours of work my husband invested in this case (not to mention the stress, which I think should be measured in pounds per square inch on the human body!). Thankfully, after much prayer on top of all that hard work, Marty made his presentation to the judge and had the most favorable outcome we could have expected and hoped for. We are so relieved to have this obstacle cleared from our path, but it's curious to see how stress takes a toll -- I think we're still recovering from it!

On top of that, we're really starting to consider the most realistic possibilities for our immediate future. We may not find a job for Marty in Indiana in the next few weeks. We may not be able to move to Indiana before Will is born. I may have to give birth here and make an intense, exhausting move when our son is only just a few weeks or months old. As much as we'd like to take a few risks and move right now, with this economy and job market and me going on maternity leave in July, we have to be wise and careful and cautious. I don't take well to careful maneuverings...I never have. I like to take leaps of faith, but it's funny how quickly you become a parent, even when your child isn't born yet. It's not about me anymore, it's about the best situation for our son, and of course that is dependent on what we can realistically provide him with what we have right now, right in front of us, unless and until those things change. I've spent a lot of time this month trying to relinquish control of our lives to God, and that's never an easy process. And even though I'm still working on it, I'm starting to make preparations for Plan B, even though Plan B is just about the last thing I want to do. It's become one of those times in life when the rubber meets the road faith-wise and that's always the best time to stop, take a breath, and just count your blessings. At the end of the day, no matter where I happen to be geographically, if my son is born healthy and I am healthy after delivering him, and Marty and I and Will are together as a family, then that is far and away the greatest blessing in this whole world. Yes, it would be nice to be settled where we're going to be for the long run, have a functioning, tidy home and have the right jobs, and be in a great church, and surrounded by loved ones, and so on and so forth, but these are nice things, not vital things, and my perfectionist self just has to deal with that! Moral of the story? Sometimes gifts don't come with all the accessories. But that's no reason to be ungrateful for the gifts!

In any case, March shall remain List-less and I hope to continue my little tradition next month (and I may even revamp it a bit). Lots of new posts coming soon...April is Autism Awareness Month and I have lots to share on this topic! Stay tuned...and if you remember to, say a little prayer for us and all the decisions that must be made in the coming weeks. We would greatly appreciate it!

Viability! and THE EVIL STORAGE ROOM

I was just about to say that these two title items don't have a thing in common, but upon further reflection, yes they do. They are huge projects in my life (albeit one quite major and one quite minor, in the scheme of things) that are not finished, and in some aspects, feel as though they've just begun.

Today is 24 weeks into my pregnancy, and my little boy is officially "viable." I sort of hate the term, but in doctor-speak, it means my son would receive life-saving medical treatment should he make his way into the world right now...so, I'll gladly use the term! However, just because my William is viable doesn't mean he'd do well outside of my womb; in fact, though "save-able," he'd be at his most vulnerable. And so, it feels in some ways as though my pregnancy has really just begun. We've reached a crucial stage, but the next 4 weeks alone would make a 50% difference in his survivability. Talk about pressure...I know that I know too much about this stuff. But, you get pregnant, you read things! It's so easy for me to want to propel us somehow into the future and skip a couple months, but I know God gives parents 9 months to prepare for their young'uns, and I should take that time without questioning the wisdom of it. Whoever said it was right on: waiting really is the hardest part.

As for the other project, the dreaded EVIL STORAGE ROOM, Marty and I finally made some headway into the clearing and purging and organizing of it today. I said a few weeks ago that we were going to get started, but we ended up devoting that day toward the cleaning and purging and organizing of our office, which was far more necessary and urgent of a task. So even though I'm glad we tabled the EVIL STORAGE ROOM for another day (today as it turned out), I can hardly believe that we've only just started this hateful chore. I would just like to say that when two people come together to form a home, and both of those people have baggage from past marriages (especially when each of us previously owned houses), and both of those people have lived in 4 different places in the past 2 years (respectively!), there's a lot of just plain old stuff hanging around! And even though it feels good to sort and throw away and give away and see that your "keep" pile is teeny-tiny, it's such an exhausting chore and I know we have a few weekends of such choring ahead of us yet, and that's daunting, to say the least.

Are you feeling overwhelmed with me yet? The funny thing is, my attitude is not one of complaint. I'm beyond incredibly thankful that I have a life with my husband, that I've been rescued from bad things and bad times, and that we have such a beautiful future, especially with the coming of our son. I truly have everything I've ever wanted in life, yet there's always this difficulty with achieving contentment, isn't there? "Yes, God, I have a wonderful husband and a baby on the way, but could You just get him here now and organize my stuff for me while You're at it?" I think this is the real challenge in life, especially the peaceful life that I so want to live: to just be thankful for our blessings in whatever form they're currently taking. To not rush through life, and just enjoy the gentle unfolding of each gift!

Happiness

Happiness is, in no particular order,

1. Getting to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time yesterday. We've seen the heart beating on ultrasound 3 times now, but no audio. During our visit yesterday, the doctor whipped out the regular ole doppler and found Baby's heart beating right away. She tried to stimulate the baby to move a bit but my child refused to budge. I couldn't help but laugh -- this little person is so much like his mother. When we're napping, please leave us alone! But what a reassuring, sweet musical sound: whoosh-whoosh-whoosh. It almost sounded to me like the steady beat of a dog panting! I'm just weird, probably. Biggest news of all: we're tentatively scheduled for the big gender-discovery ultrasound on President's Day, February 16th! We specifically asked for that day because Marty, as a government employee, gets that day off (don't get me started on all the government holidays, so jealous!). Therefore, I'm going to post a poll -- please vote on whether you think it's a boy or a girl!
2. The fact that this little girl went home from the hospital yesterday. Just about 3 weeks ago, I asked everyone to join me in praying for Harper and her family. At that point it was unclear if she would survive. Today this darling little girl is at home, sleeping in her own crib, healed from pneumonia. God is good. He is so very good. I feel privileged to have joined with hundreds of others praying for this very outcome!
3. Getting to sleep here last night:Yes, our mattresses finally came (after a snow delay, curses on you snow!) and we finally moved into the bedroom where our bed frame has been sitting, quite lonely, for several months. Excuse the wrinkly appearance of the duvet, I should have steamed it but oh that's right, I'm fresh out of steamers (and there's no way I'm ironing a king-size duvet). I used to work in an upscale department store and I got addicted to those upright, hand-held steamers. It's now going on the "to buy" list!
4. Reading this book:Yes, you heard me right. Judge me all you want, this book was ridiculously good. I enjoyed nearly everything about it. I jumped on the Twilight wagon quite late (nope, didn't see the movie), but I'm now a huge fan. I would never have thought I'd be interested in a vampire love story, but that's how engaging this book really is. I'm jealous of the author, her writing is so seemingly effortless! Marty and I have a Barnes and Noble date tonight to pick up the sequel, and maybe the next one, too! Did I mention I just bought this book on Monday? Couldn't put it down!
5. The fact that it's Friday. I love weekends with my hubby. We're going to see our dear friends Mike and Jen and their babies on Saturday night, and I love hanging out with them. Other than that, it will be a quiet weekend of bliss inside our marital bubble! Have a fabulous weekend everyone (and stop by your local bookstore to pick up Twilight!).

I heart chairs

I don't know why, but I love chairs. Maybe it's the way they seem to beckon to a tired body to come sit, relax, take a load off. Maybe it's the way a couple of well-placed chairs perfectly complement a long sofa, or the way they fill up those empty spaces in a room. I don't know why, I just really love chairs! (No coincidence that the last post discussing a peaceful life featured a picture of a chair...I didn't even do it consciously but that's how much I respond to chairs.) Anyway, here are a couple of fun chair facts about me:

• For my 16th birthday, I requested a rocking chair. Nope, not a car, but a chair! I still remember the Sunday afternoon we went to get it. We'd gone to Olive Garden for my birthday meal, then we went to Kittle's and walked around until I found this white wicker rocking chair. I spent many a teenaged hour rocking in that chair and yakking on the phone. That chair knows a lot of secrets...


• During a stay in Charleston, SC (one of my favorite places in the world), I went antiquing one day alone while Leslie had a shoot. I found these precious little silver Queen Anne chair bookends and immediately grabbed them. When I was purchasing them, I got into a very long conversation with the antique store owner, Barbara (yes, a year later and I still remember her name). That summer happened to be a very difficult time in my life, and Barbara was very encouraging and told me she could see in my eyes that I was a beautiful person, and that happiness would come to me very soon. Well, happiness came to me a couple months after that! Every time I look at these little chair bookends, I think of her and her charming Southern way. The way Southern women can look you in the eye and peg you...it's AMAZING.


• At my wedding a couple Saturdays back, I insisted on a few bridal portrait shots taken outside under a tree in -- you guessed it -- a chair. I really hope some of those come out nicely!

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't just like "chairs." As with everything else in life, I have specific taste! I like traditional, classic chairs. Chairs that whisper of olde world and Europe, chairs that are comfortable but not crazy. Chairs you can relax in but also show off (just in case Southern Living is begging to photograph your home...one of these days, Becky!).

And how could a girl live a peaceful life without the comfort of a beautiful chair or two?

(caption: beautiful French Country chair available at Pierre Deux.com)