the (late) December list

What I'm reading: What to Expect When You're Expecting. Of course. Although I've found it sadly insufficient in many areas. Does anybody like the Q&A format? I surely don't. Does anybody have any better suggestions for pregnancy reading? I also just finished reading Remember Me? by the same girlie who wrote all the lovely Shopaholic books. Every now and then I need a British chick-lit fix!

What we're spending on: Christmas, but thankfully that's almost finished. With 4 days to spare...seriously, without online shopping and my sweet UPS lady (who asks me about the baby every time I see her now, since she's seen me disheveled and ill and pale so often!), there would be practically zero Christmas for my loved ones. Also, my sweet husband took me on a bit of a shopping spree in Motherhood (maternity store) last night. All I can say is, pregnancy jeans are IT. I mean, hello beautiful comfort!!! Now I don't dread getting out of pajamas, and that's a big deal for me right now.

What we're saving for: Yup, still those king-size mattresses. Although I'm really proud of us -- we were able to sock away some of our Christmas gift money, and the plan is to have our mattresses and fully ensconced in bed-heaven by next month!

What I need to do: Send Christmas cards; send packages to friends and family in North Carolina, Mississippi, and New York; buy a couple of stocking stuffers; do all my laundry and pack to leave for Christmas vacation (nearly 2 weeks' worth!) on Tuesday afternoon! Yee-haw! Family and north, here we come!

What I'm thinking about: my baby, mostly. What mama-to-be doesn't think often of her baby as he or she is being formed in her womb? It occupies quite of bit of my mental activity these days. We've already picked out names, I've had inspiration for a girl's nursery (I will need serious help with a boy's nursery), and oddly, we already got the full prenatal care bill (yeah, that's up to and including JULY). So, a lot of the practical things have been done or are being taken care of, leaving me time to think about more profound things, like what kind of mama will I be???

What I'm working on: Planning lots of changes in the New Year. More on that to come...

What I'm happy about: Seeing Marty be excited about his baby...it blesses me so much to experience HIS happiness about the babe. Also, getting to spend nearly 2 weeks with family and friends...and especially my nieces and nephews. There's nothing like experiencing Christmas with children, is there? Also, being on the very cusp of turning the corner into second trimester. Just a few days to go, and relief from fatigue and sickness is (supposedly) in sight!

Vote on my poll!

See the poll to the right --->

The results of this poll will either make me feel better or far, far worse. No pressure.

Tagged

I was tagged by Sarah at This Girl's Life to do this little fun survey.

The Rules:
*Link to the person who tagged you.
*Share 7 random/weird facts about you.
*Tag 7 people at the end of the post, and include links to their blogs.

1) Since becoming pregnant, I've had far more vivid dreams than usual. And usually, my dreams are about...pizza. I woke up one morning dreaming of long, stringy, hot mozzarella cheese being pulled away from a pepperoni pizza. Golly, I think I want pizza again tonight.

2) My husband and I met on eHarmony. I think I've shared that before, but it's one of those facts we enjoy sharing with other people because it always seems to generate a unique reaction. For some reason, it makes us kind of celebrity-ish. People always seem terribly impressed and pressure us to "do a commercial."

3) I went to a private Baptist school up until my senior year, when I transferred to a public high school. That was a rude awakening! I was offered -- let's just say "illegal drugs" my first week of school and I think I just stared blankly at the kid, like "are you for real?" I felt like I'd walked into an after-school special.

4) "Dallas" is my favorite TV show of all time. I used to watch it with my grandparents while they babysat us, and Grandpa would give me a Coke in a glass bottle, apple slices, and Cheez-Its. Man, those were good times!

5) Speaking of favorites, it seems I have a "favorite" everything. Favorite flower (lily of the valley), favorite bird (morning dove), favorite brand of tights (DKNY), favorite upscale store (Von Maur), favorite game (Trivial Pursuit), favorite perfume (Jivago), favorite this, favorite that. Ask me what my "favorite" is of anything and 9 times out of 10, I'll have a ready answer for you.

6) I always take a bath (or hot shower, if a bath is unavailable) before bed. It's a habit I started in high school to unwind and it's one I intend to keep for the duration. I have a thing about enjoying a nice bath, slipping into really great pajamas, then further slipping in between really great sheets. I'm a big fan of R&R.

7) If I could meet any celebrity, anyone at all, I would choose Paula Deen. I feel she could teach me any number of things, and only some of those in the kitchen! She seems such a warm, wise, loving lady, and I love her sense of humor and that great Southern accent. Paula's people: leave a comment and we'll arrange a meeting. :)

Okay, I tag: Ellen, Kate, Aimee, Ashley, Sebi, Liz, and Emily.

New York City!

I can't believe it's taken me THIS LONG to write about our trip to New York City! Anyway, without further ado, here's 25 things about our trip that I wanted to share:

1) Did you know that LaGuardia Airport is right on the water? When your plane comes in, it's hard to tell if you're going to hit water or tarmac. Not fun for the flight-challenged, like myself.
2) Cab drivers in NYC: you lived up to every nuance of reputation you have. Cab driver from LaGuardia to Long Island: thank you for making the cab ride for this pregnant woman the closest I've come to actually tossing cookies. (My brother-in-law, John, kept glancing at me nervously, like "don't do it on me!")
3) We stayed with Marty's Aunt Becky (she's only 8 years older than Marty, so more like a big sister than an aunt), her husband Ed, and their 3 kids, John Thomas, Henry, and Grace. They have a beautiful home all done up in...French Country style. I nearly died of bliss. We were sitting at the dining table eating breakfast one morning when I asked Becky, are these slipcovers from Ballard Designs? Becky looked at me with both shock and deep appreciation and confirmed my suspicion! She told me I really know my stuff! (this is perhaps one of the highest compliments I've ever received)
4) Becky and Ed gave up their master bedroom with a brand-new TempurPedic bed for us for our entire stay. I'm not sure if this was the plan all along, or if it was prompted by our big news! As soon as we were in the door, coats off, being offered drinks, Marty told the family about Peanut and Aunt Becky started crying and hugging and laughing at the same time. It was wonderful to be enveloped with such warmth and love! Then, in the next 5 minutes, Becky had me on the couch, shoes off, ottoman shoved under my legs, an afghan on me, and a water in my hand almost before I could nod or say thank-you. Suddenly a fire was built in the fireplace and appetizers appeared on the coffee table. I've rarely experienced such sweet solicitous caring. I should seriously be pregnant more often.
5) Long Island has the best food markets on Planet Earth. We went to stock up on some goodies for our stay and I was blown away by the rows and rows and stacks and stacks of gourmet food. Every kind of olive you can imagine, every kind of cheese, hummus, dips, crackers, bread, produce like you've never seen away from a farm...cases of freshly made lasagna, pasta salads, veggie salads, I could go on and on. I told Marty I was living every pregnant woman's dream!
6) Long Island also has something called a Dairy Barn, which isn't like a Dairy Queen or anything of the sort. It's this odd little drive-up store where you can get anything from donuts to beer to ice cream to fresh sweet tea and lemonade. Dairy Barn, I miss you. And your lemonade.
7) We (Becky, Grace, me, Marty, and John) took the Long Island Railroad into the city on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Here's a pic of me and my darling husband on the train:

8) And here's Gracie on the train (she is one of the best-behaved children I've ever met and is city-savvy! Look at her puffy coat and Uggs!): 9) Our first stop in the city was, where else? Starbucks! And I'm not kidding when I say there's one on every corner. I was actually feeling up to coffee that day (I'm usually not these days), so I had a lovely decaf misto to enjoy while we walked block after block after block! Here's me enjoying my misto in Times Square:

10) We saw this store on our walk, and I couldn't resist taking a picture of it! Too bad we're not related to that fortune!11) Then I stopped cold in my tracks when I saw this: I'm a HUGE fan of Project Runway and I got so excited thinking that Tim Gunn could be inside those very walls. I had a fleeting temptation to become a stalker. Fortunately, the moment passed.
12) John wanted to go the Museum of Natural History (I think that's the proper name for it?). It was the setting for the Ben Stiller movie, "Night at the Museum" (if that helps anyone). Anyway, we saw lots of cool dinosaur bones, and I kept thinking how my niece Ada would have gone nuts with happiness in the place -- she loves dinosaurs!There were about 8 trillion people there that day, though, so my energy levels petered out a couple times (I hate big crowds).
13) We closed the day out with a trip to the Hard Rock Cafe. Speaking of big crowds...that was kind of a nightmare. It was John's pick, though (he had to leave for home a few days ahead of me and Marty), so it was all good. However, I've learned not to wait to find a bathroom anywhere in the city. If you have the slightest inkling, get up and go find a bathroom that very instant, because you'll stand in line, a very LONG line. Very common experience for me while in New York!
14) I just realized I skipped a whole day, Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. We slept in (thank goodness, since there was a trampling incident at a Wal-Mart on Long Island that morning!!!) and then went to the mall on Long Island in the afternoon. That was CRAZY. However, my husband kept wanting to treat me the whole time we were there, so I let him buy me some black Coach boots in Macy's (on sale for a ridiculous amount, for Coach, anyway). We also drove around and saw Adelphi University, where Marty got his master's degree in English (is he MADE for me or what?). Then we drove around and looked at some fabulous properties on the island. You think there are rich people in Indiana, and maybe even some rich people in Tennessee, and then you actually see how rich the rich people are in Long Island. And you know that you've never even fathomed having that much money!
15) Fast-forward to Monday, the only day Marty and I had alone in the city. It was magnificent! Well, things got off to a rough start...my socks kept slipping off my feet in my boots, necessitating an emergency trip into a random store to buy knee-high socks, then the street-vendor pretzel I had that was burnt and such a huge disappointment!...but as soon as we got to the Empire State Building, all was well again. Waiting in line for the skycab is not too different from waiting in line at Disney World, and get this, there is SECURITY in the ESB. As in, take off coats and shoes and bags and stick 'em on the conveyer belt, just like at the airport. What a sad reminder that we live in a post-9/11 world, especially when in the post-9/11 city.
Empire State Building is such a beautiful place, with all these Art-Deco touches here and there:So, after about an hour's walk and wait and various elevator rides, we got to the top!16) This is the famous skyline of Manhattan. In the top-right corner, you can see a little island with something poking up into the sky -- that's the Statue of Liberty! And Marty pointed out that right where the buildings make a W, used to stand the Twin Towers. That was very sobering to see. Then, here's the view when you look up:17) And here's the view when you look down onto Macy's!18) And of course, the view when you hand your camera to a perfect stranger:

19) Last but not least, the view of the Chrysler Building (my particular favorite):

20) After an exhausting morning, Marty took me to Saks Fifth Avenue to begin our shopping adventure. We started out in the "2 Eat @ Saks Cafe", where I had a lovely Cobb salad and pretzel croissants (I'd seriously maim someone for the recipe), followed by tiramisu and coffee. I can't stress this enough: If you want to eat well, go to New York City. Seriously the best food in the whole world. Just be careful of those street vendors... Anyway, so here was the view from our table:21) That's right, I ate and looked down on the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center!!! It wasn't lit yet, but that only slightly damaged my experience. :)
22) Then it was off to, where else? Tiffany's!!! Marty bought me an early Christmas present -- I'll share a picture of it soon. For a retail maven like myself, this was like coming home to the mother ship!
23) Then we took a couple of cabs up to a little store that Marty had even googled the location of, because he fully intended to make sure I had this experience in New York...that of buying a hand bag from, where else? kate spade! (Just for fun we looked at the Louis Vuitton bags in Saks...I thought Marty would stroke out when he saw the price tag.) So here's me, getting my beautiful kate spade bag all packaged carefully for the plane ride home...

24) Finally, after a very long day in the city, we packed it in and headed "home" to Long Island to eat Chinese take-out with the fam. I kid you not, even the Chinese take-out is better in New York! But one last shot...this is me, right before getting on the train to leave the city, feeling so very New York and loving it so much!Okay, yeah, so I look like a tourist. However, I had to have my little "Sex and the City" moment, okay?
25) Finally, I'm amazed at how much this post doesn't capture. We somehow didn't get any pictures of the family besides Gracie, nor did we get a shot of the fabulous turkey dinner that Becky and Ed cooked for us. Also, besides the pictures we didn't get, there's so much more I could say...like, if you think the president-elect is not worshipped as a messiah, um, just go to New York. He is. His face is everywhere. And it's creepy. Also, I had such varying encounters with people. A lot of them were rude and frankly, weird, but then again, a lot of them were truly pleasant. Waiters (in finer establishments in the city, I guess I should say) almost hover in their eagerness to please. And Tiffany's was such a beautiful experience that way -- there are no lines, no cash registers, none of that sloppy retail stuff. Clerks trained in the art of subtlety casually ask if you're ready to purchase, and if you are, they simply whisk away with your credit card and then reappear with a lovely blue bag and a receipt.
Anyway, I really have to cut this off for now, maybe I'll write a follow-up post one time when more memories come flooding back! All in all, it was a grand adventure and I'm so glad we had the opportunity to go! Thanks again Ed and Becky!!!

What's been keeping me from blogging?

Just a little something...

The picture is upside-down because my bebe is upside-down inside me right now (click on it for a better view; you can see eyes, arms, and even the umbilical cord near the bottom)! Yes, we are greatly anticipating the arrival of our little one in early July. I'm 9 weeks right now, and even though all the books tell you to wait for the 12th week to make your announcement, it seems bizarre to not publicly acknowledge your child, no matter how tiny it is! I have been GREATLY blessed in my OB/GYN here in Johnson City, especially after having had such a great doctor in Indiana (I didn't think I'd be so fortunate twice!). Dr. Hinton is kind, funny, clever, jovial, warm, and sweet. Seriously, he's all of the above. He listens to my concerns and actually acts on them when necessary. We've had two ultrasounds already as a result; the first one at 6 weeks showed such a wee little thing but it already had that lovely beating heart! Our second ultrasound was just a few days ago, and it showed a much bigger baby than before (I can't believe how fast they grow in these early weeks) with a strong heartbeat (176 bpm). The baby even moved a little during the ultrasound, which surprised us all, even the good doctor! Apparently they don't move a whole lot during this time but it was such a blessing to this mama's heart to see her little one dance around in that warm pool of water!

Pregnancy so far has been something of a challenge for me. Nothing seems to prepare you for the physical and emotional onslaught. I've been a textbook pregnant woman, feeling very sick to my stomach at random times throughout the day, gagging at food smells (I plug my nose when opening the refrigerator; there's nothing smelly in there but I can SMELL things!), craving good things (cherry tomatoes) and bad things (Chips Ahoy!), weeping over anything and everything. Not to mention the fatigue! I have felt so useless at times, watching my hubby do all the meal preparation and clean-up. I just sit in a heap on the couch, moaning with sickness! But what a sweet husband I have. He keeps telling me, Honey, you're doing the REAL hard work, I don't mind doing the little stuff!

In fact, it always feels naughty to complain, even the littlest bit. You see, this baby is a miracle in many ways. We feel blessed beyond measure. The first time we saw the baby's heart beating on the ultrasound, Marty and I locked eyes and the wonder, awe, and joy we felt was and is indescribable. What a gift to have finally found my true place in life, with an amazing man, who I adore, and our child on the way, who I love so dearly. Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gifts!

the November list

What I'm reading: Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge. There's a post about this book in comparison with another book brewing in my head...

What we're spending on: I'm trying to get a couple new items for my wardrobe so I'm sufficiently stylin' in NYC in a couple weeks!

What we're saving for: king-size mattresses. STILL. It's just not incredibly easy to set aside $2,000+. Even when you piece-meal it. Can you tell we want to pay cash for everything? We paid for our wedding with cash, and it's so clear to us that this is the way to go for any large purchase.

What I need to do: send the rest of the wedding thank-you notes. STILL. I got the first half of the thank-you notes done, but that little victory became a little excuse to procrastinate doing the rest of them. Get some Christmas shopping done, at least on paper (who gets what, budgets, stores, coupon codes for online shopping, etc).

What I'm thinking about: a couple of really intense things, and also a couple of really non-intense things, like the spaghetti sauce bubbling in the crockpot right now. It is calling my name! Do you ever feel like your brain is layered, and it's easier to stay on the surface and think about the mostly trivial, because sometimes it's so exhausting to dig -- and think -- deeper?

What I'm working on: daily upkeep of the house. I hate how a couple days of neglect is so visible in our home! I'm not talking dishes or anything, just the general whatnot that accumulates: mail, sweaters, books, magazines, gym bags, shoes, borrowed items to be returned, items just-bought that need homes, etc. Clutter makes me crazy!

What I'm happy about: going to NYC for Thanksgiving, then the almost 2 weeks I have off around Christmas to spend in Indiana and Michigan. I love travel, I love time with family, and (usually) I love the holidays! I can't believe it's the middle of November and we're so very close to shutting down 2008 forever. It boggles my mind to think of how drastically (and quickly!) my life has changed in a year. This time last year, I was single, living in Indiana, working a job I didn't like, commuting sometimes 2 hours a day, and long-distance dating Marty. Now I'm happily married, I work from home at a job I mostly enjoy, I live in Tennessee, and I get to see my beloved every day! God amazes me at how He makes my dreams come true.

sage words

Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."

If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can satisfy, also we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for another world.

~C.S. Lewis

in defense of Christianity

After recently ranting against extremism in Christianity, I'm now going to take up the cause of Christianity because, well, I have things to say. And this is my blog, so I'm going to say them.
I am so deeply grateful to be a Christian, to know the love of Jesus Christ. With tears in my eyes writing this, I can sincerely say that I'm constantly overwhelmed by joy from the blessings in my life directly from His hand. After years of living in a truly awful marriage (and covering up that fact to the outside world), I was delivered from it with clear finality and was surrounded by angels in human form who bore me up with such grace and love, I could feel through them the strength of Jesus. My parents, my sisters, my best girlfriends, all joined my huddle and the fight to build my life again. With a shattered heart and a confused faith, I approached the throne of God with a simple plea, Help me through this, help me make it to the other side, wherever that is, and help me know who You really are. In fact, I even tried for awhile to completely throw off my faith, to see if it was another illusion with which I'd been living for so long. And you know what? It didn't work. I couldn't fling it away. Because you see, my faith is part of me. It's my identity and it's my very soul. My whole life I have felt the beautiful presence of God, and I've always known Him from the way my parents lived their lives and brought Him to every dinner table and every bedtime prayer. God's blessing was solicited for traveling, for healing, for peace at family functions, and even for math tests. And in the midst of the worst crisis of my life, God made His presence known to me, again and again. He was there with love and forgiveness and understanding and help and hope. God saved my eternal soul a long time ago, but He saved my earthly life, too. He was there as I picked up each little piece of Becky and glued her back together. And He was there when I met my husband. Some might say that Marty and I met by chance, but we both know differently. It was a connection guided by the most loving hands, the hands of our Creator and Redeemer. Marty and I give God all the credit for bringing us to each other and bestowing upon us the greatest human blessing of all, the gift of a soulmate.
I say all of this for a reason. My faith in Christ is the best thing I have to offer to this world, because the love of Christ inspires love in me. Without Him, I could very well be a bitter, angry, useless shell of a person right now, and this is no exaggeration, because I was tempted toward that path several times. Because Jesus loves me, I am proud to bear the title of Christian. And I am proud to be all the things that define Christians, and further, that define conservatism. I believe in the sanctity of life and the holiness of marriage. Of course that means I believe abortion to be murder and marriage to be between a man and a woman only. I believe what the Bible teaches me about these things. And you know what? This makes me incredibly uncool. Oh the pitying looks and the withering remarks I've had. And not just uncool...it makes me dumb, ill-informed, and worse, stupid. I consider myself to be a very bright, well-educated woman with a love for learning and knowledge. I can speak with a certain confidence on many, many subjects because I'm self-taught in many, many areas. But none of this matters when you also happen to be a Christian and a conservative. All of your education and hard-earned life wisdom fly out the window if you express adherence to the Christian faith. For some reason, this boils me down to a mere simpleton in the eyes of others who have it "really" figured out. To some people, being a Christian doesn't make you someone of another opinion, it makes you stupid.
I've never felt this more keenly than in the last few hours, with the result of this election. I watched a few minutes of The View this morning, and when Elizabeth Hasselbeck, the die-hard Christian conservative, spoke, her words brought me to tears. She accepted the defeat of her team with grace and beauty, and she said, "I'm going to get behind the new president, because that's what Americans do." Of course, the ladies surrounding her looked at her with the same brand of pity I've seen in the eyes of people I know, like "oh poor thing, she didn't know any better to vote for the RIGHT guy."
So I've realized something. Christians will always be uncool. We'll always be labeled anti-progressive, hateful, and ignorant. Why? Because we believe in certain black-and-whites, like the truth of sin. We believe in a different kind of love, the kind that doesn't say, Anything goes, but the kind that says, You're a sinner but I love you anyway, and I came to give you freedom from your sin.
So I'll never fit in with the cool kids. I can accept that. Because Jesus told me I wouldn't fit in, that I shouldn't fit in. He told me not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of my mind to a higher love that humans can't attain outside of His power. He told me I'm just a traveler, passing through this place on my way to my heavenly home. He told me I might even be persecuted for taking His name and identifying myself with Him.
But you know what? I'd rather be on His side, because of all the beautiful things He's done for me. I've seen His hand so clearly in my life, and really, standing up for Him and for the truth is the least I can do in return. There are people who might read this and write me off as ridiculous, and I can't do anything about that. Because I have to be true to my soul, which belongs to Jesus.

Random thoughts, round 2

I haven't posted in a little while and that's mostly because I haven't felt well this week. I think I'm battling strep throat and I really need to suck it up and find a local doctor. I don't really want to because I adore my doctor back home in Indiana, who has been my doctor since I was 5 years old! Anyhoo, just wanted to jot down some thoughts rolling around in my head, from the extremely trivial to varying levels of higher importance.

• I feel a rant coming on toward legalistic Christians. I grew up going to a very strict private Baptist school, and I experienced legalism in just about every form imaginable. I must state that my parents were not among this crowd; they sent us to the school so we could get a top-notch education, which we did. What they didn't bargain for was all the irrational spiritual "sludge" (my term) that would be crammed into our minds along with our A-B-C's. Anyway, for most of my adult life, I've attended non-denominational churches and more recently, a Lutheran church (which is truly my church "home" -- they are ALL ABOUT grace!). However, I still read lots and lots online about current thinking in the modern-day church, and lately, what I'm reading is scaring me. It's scaring me because it's so deeply familiar. For example, practicing yoga is a sin? Er...WHAT??? Seriously, people, let's get back to the basics of Christianity. Love God and love your neighbor. This is the message that Jesus preached to us over and over and over again. Why? Because that's the heart of Christianity, not spending all our time worrying over sin. We've been freed from the law!!! Let's live in GRACE. Like my pastor says, "Live in the gift." I could go on and on, but that's a good summary for now. I've a feeling I'll be revisiting this topic again soon, though. Stay tuned. For more ranting.
• And on to a completely different topic...how many of you ladies use Oil of Olay? I'm 31 years old, and suffice it to say, I've had pretty crappy skin for oh, 17 years? I've tried everything on the market to help with acne and dryness, and I mean everything: Proactiv Solution (which works until I break out into hives), all the over-the-counter products, several expensive salon products, even the prescription drug, Accutane (which you can NOT be on if you're sexually active...even with the required 2 forms of birth control, the possible birth defects are truly scary). Anyway, I don't recall how I got the idea to moisturize my skin to the nth degree, but last week I bought Oil of Olay day cream and night cream. And holy cow, kids, it works!!! My skin is not only soft and smooth, it's CLEAR. It's like a drugstore miracle. Maybe my skin was just starved for moisture all these years? Typical of me...struggle for years with something only to find a very simple solution.
• This weekend, Marty and I will be continuing our search for economical but high-quality king-size mattresses. People who know me personally, know that I'm a champion sleeper. Seriously, I have the equivalent of a black-belt or a gold medal or an Oscar in sleeping. I'm that good at it, and enjoy it that much! So I can't stress enough the importance of a good mattress to my championship sleeping...yet in my old age, I'm becoming something of a penny-pincher. Does anyone have any good recommendations on where we should be looking for mattresses? The next decade of my sleeping quality depends on what you say...so no pressure.
• It's official...we're going to NYC for Thanksgiving weekend! We'll be flying out Thanksgiving morning and then making our way to Long Island, where Marty's Aunt Becky lives. We'll be staying until the next Tuesday, so there will be plenty of time with the Fam PLUS time by ourselves in the great city! Yes, it won't be long until I can personally say...

Fun at the orchard

On Saturday morning, Leslie, Marty and I piled into the car and took a trip to Altapass Orchard in North Carolina by way of the Blue Ridge Parkway. I still don't know which part of the trip was better -- the actual orchard or the beauty and grandeur set out for our viewing enjoyment on the Blue Ridge Parkway! As Leslie said, "it's like a show just for us."
At the orchard, we took in the mountains and the apples and the mountains of apples:Then we took in the bluegrass band playing their good ole tunes and all the folks who were clogging and dancing in the crisp air...

We ate hot dogs and pulled pork sandwiches and pumpkin cake while the band sang "Rocky Top" (I really felt like a true Tennessee girl!). Then we drank some hot apple cider before beginning our frolic in the apple barn and the orchard.

It was truly the perfect fall experience. We had so much fun! Thanks again, my Leslie, for having this brilliant idea and letting us tag along on your journey to "fall for fall." Thanks also for the amazing pictures! Please come back and visit again soon!

how to not hate Monday mornings

On Sunday afternoon/evening:

• Iron all hubby's shirts and pants (so his mornings are smooth and easy for the coming week)
• Let hubby have his fill of football (this leads to happy hubby in general)
• Clean kitchen (there's nothing worse than being greeted in the morning by a sinkful of dirty dishes)
• Make sure fridge and pantry are stocked with healthy breakfast items (skim milk, Total wheat flakes, and bananas on tap for this week)
• Ready coffeemaker so all that's required in the AM is the pushing of a button
• Make bed with freshly cleaned white sheets for peaceful slumber and sweet dreams, in order to awake refreshed and happy

I'm proud to say I've done all the above. Looking forward to a happy Monday!!!

Random thoughts

• I'm really irritated at the ending of Project Runway. Kenley was my favorite, and she didn't have an attitude, she was just...emotional. Yeah, that's it. (Okay, she had an attitude. But even though Kenley snapped at him, the great Tim Gunn forgave and called her "sweetheart.") Anyway, I loved her Bryant Park collection, especially this dress. Leanne's collection was just...blah. Yeah, the petals are a cool feature and all, but the colors? Yawn. The styles? I wouldn't wear 'em.
• I just found a new show. Well, it's new to me. Has anyone watched "Samantha Who?" It's an adorable comedy featuring Christina Applegate. I watched a couple episodes online here.
• I've re-fallen in love with Real Simple magazine. I had a subscription for a few years and let it lapse when...well, when normal life lapsed for awhile. In unpacking all my things, I found about 3 years' worth of old issues and I've discovered (again) that these magazines are worth their weight in gold, with all the fun recipes, advice, tips, and heartwarming stories. Real Simple, I shall never leave thee again.
• I can't wait to move out of this apartment. (But wait, Becky, didn't you just move in? Yes, we did. Keep reading.) Our lease will be up in May, and when the time comes, we're going to find a great place to rent (hopefully even a house) where I can a) paint the walls (I'm sick to my soul of cream-colored walls) and b) get a puppy. I work from home and I need a little friend to have with me for the 10+ hours that Marty is gone. I think I want a yellow lab. Marty and I are still debating the gender. (I want a boy dog, and I want to name him Pilot. Oh yes, like Mr. Rochester's dog in Jane Eyre. Marty wants a girl dog because he thinks a boy dog, especially one who spends all day with me, wouldn't feel much loyalty for the man of the house. We watch a lot of Dog Whisperer, and I have to admit, Marty has a point, being the alpha male of the pack and all that.)
• I found an absolutely lovely blog called this is glamorous. On it, I found this picture, which screams Becky at the top of its lungs:

• And that's it for now! Everyone have a great weekend!

the October list

So I've been wanting to keep a master list somewhere of things I'm doing, things I'm needing to get done, and just random other items floating in my head, and I thought, why not my blog? That way, all of my friends can keep me encouraged and headed in the right direction, yes? Without further ado, here's my first list!

• What I'm reading: Body in the Gallery, by Katherine Hall Page. Faith of My Fathers, by John McCain (no, I'm not a Republican but yes, I'm generally a McCain fan...and I'm reading this book less for voting research purposes and more because I admire war heroes and I want to know what his Vietnam experience was like, and no, I have no idea why I feel the need to vociferously defend my reading choices!). I need some new book recommendations, by the way...
• What we're spending on: getting the carpets, tile, and furniture upholstery in our apartment cleaned (not my favorite thing to spend money on, but soooo worth it).
• What we're saving for: king-size mattresses. And a house (a few years down the road).
• What I need to do: send the rest of the wedding thank-you notes. Clean my house in anticipation of Leslie's visit this weekend (hurrah! I get to see an actual girlfriend!!!). Organize the storage room/finish going through boxes and bags and take extraneous items to Goodwill. Get joint checking account open with Hubs (this has been a long, tedious process that of course, starts with changing your Social Security information, then driver's license, etc.). Clean and organize office (blecch). Start thinking about Christmas presents (seriously, where did 2008 go?). Finalize Thanksgiving plans.
• What I'm thinking about: the election and the economy, of course. How to tighten up our grocery spending without sacrificing yumminess/health. My niece, Ada, my dad, and my brother-in-law Christopher, who all celebrate birthdays this month. Also, my friends Leslie and Elisabeth are celebrating birthdays in October. (Have I missed anyone?)
• What I'm working on: losing weight (at least 20 pounds); I do 30 minutes on the treadmill at least 3 times a week, but I know I need to step it up (literally). Being more focused during the day/becoming more efficient in my job.
• What I'm happy about: the strength and wisdom of my husband, and the joy in our marriage. My cousin Tom becoming a daddy last week, at long last. My friend Ellen finalizing her next great career move soon, probably this week. Getting to go home to Indy in a couple weeks.

Wearing a smile

"...I will forget my complaint, I will put off my sad face and wear a smile..." Job 9:27 (New King James).

Something has been troubling me deep inside, for quite awhile now. It was something that was easy to put off dealing with, while I focused on my wedding and then making my home in Tennessee with my new husband. However, as each item has been put away, each chair arranged just-so, and each picture hung on the wall in our little apartment home, I got closer and closer to having no more excuses to avoid the trouble in my heart. That trouble erupted on Saturday night, after an innocent trip to the mailbox landed black-and-white proof of that very trouble in my lap. I opened the letter and burst into tears, confounding myself and my husband with the strength and rawness of my emotions.

I don't want to go into details about my trouble, because the people who know me personally already know of what I'm speaking, and it's too difficult to introduce in a forum such as this. Let it suffice to say, however, that this trouble was physical and emotional and spiritual, that it is over, and that the evidence that came in the mail was "simply" a very painful reminder of a very painful circumstance. It was also a reminder, fresh and new, of the feelings I had yet to process. So...process I did. Right then and right there. My husband held me as I sobbed and sobbed, finally giving oxygen to pent-up anguish. And oh my goodness, did it ever feel good. To let go, to give it up, to ask questions aloud, with anger and hurting, and to ultimately be okay knowing the answers are impossible to comprehend on this side of heaven. The best part (if there is a "best part" to meltdowns) was looking into the loving eyes of my husband, and knowing the love I see there is unconditional, complete, and immutable. Knowing also that true love is inspired by the Creator of love, and acknowledging that to be loved like that by another human being is merely an echo of how much I'm loved by that same Creator.

So, after the last sniffle ceased and the last tear was wiped away, I felt ready to put off my sad face and smile again. My hurt will never go away completely, but at least I'm no longer deeply troubled by it. What's the difference between these two states of being for me? A healthy dose of healing and a mighty big inundation of hope.

I have this little postcard ripped from a magazine that pictures two hands cradling a tiny plant in dark loamy soil, and the caption reads, "Hope blooms every day." My heart responded mightily when I saw this picture, so I tore it out and placed it just under my computer screen, where I can see it every chance I need to. You know why I need to see it? Because I've realized that it's a conscious decision, allowing hope to bloom in your heart. It's a purposeful direction of thought and feeling...hope doesn't just bloom of its own accord. You have to allow it to happen in your heart, then you must nurture it and let it bloom bigger and prettier than the day before. I've also learned that you have to make way for hope by letting healing happen in its own time. Delaying it and putting it off only makes the ultimate reckoning that much harder to bear. Healing is, in fact, that fertile loamy soil in which hope can bloom.

So on this beautiful October day, I feel as light as the leaves I'm watching drop and swirl in the sunshine and breeze. I have put away my sad face and I'm wearing a smile. And hoping with all my heart.

The country is having an anxiety attack

Or is it just me? As I type this, my husband is downstairs, still watching the vice presidential debate. Also as I type this, my husband's blood pressure is on the rise. Personally, I couldn't take it anymore. It's not just the blatant lying going on that's freaking me out (look, either he voted for it or he didn't, so someone is telling fibs up there!), but the issues flying about in the air like flies at a picnic. Are the polar ice caps really melting? And if so, is it really my fault if they are? (Seriously, was it all the aerosol hairspray I used in high school?) Then there are the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Not to mention the unstable, volatile places like Iran, North Korea, Israel, and Palestine. Not so ironically, the conversation about those places was immediately followed by a discussion about nuclear arms control...shudder. Oh, and let's not forget for even a second the grave financial crisis here at home. Who else feels in their gut like our economy is about to tank? Who else this week has felt the need to coldly assess the value of their jobs in a failing economy? My job is closely tied to healthcare, so it feels safer than others might, I suppose, but then again, I'm not a doctor or a nurse -- two jobs that would be safe in nearly any economic climate. I have a 401K that I no longer have any hope for, and not enough money on-hand to see us through an extended period of personal financial crisis, if we were both let go from our jobs tomorrow. I have bills to pay. I have to keep up a lease. I have to keep a gas tank filled. My husband drives a 60-minute round-trip commute to work 5 days a week, and even using his Toyota Camry, we're spending enough money weekly to feed a third-world country for a month. My husband was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure, and I suddenly found myself in need of creative ways to feed him a healthier diet. And all that creativity was deflated as soon as I got to the checkout line at my grocery store. I did what all the experts say to do -- I filled my cart with fresh things on the perimeter of the store and (mostly) avoided the processed, packaged things in the middle...but my bill was how much??? Exhausted yet by my stream-of-consciousness rant???

In all seriousness, who else feels a pressing need to find a dark corner to hide in for the next decade, until all current crises have past? I'm not naive enough to think I'd emerge into a crisis-free planet, but at least there'd be a different crop of crises I'd have to worry about!

Alternately, I also feel a pressing need to trust in God's sovereignty, to understand that He's in control and not surprised by any of this. But I also feel burdened to be smart, clever, and resourceful with the abilities and funds and blessings I've been given (that verse is running through my head..."Go to the ant, thou sluggard, consider her ways and be wise."). Does anyone else feel this way? That it's time to get diligent and strategic about the way we earn money, spend money, and most importantly, save money? So here's the purpose of my little rant...dear readers, let's pool our mutual smarts and come up with new ways to penny-pinch and save money for a rainy day. Please share your tips, tricks, and ideas. I'll take anything ya got.

Help end this girl's anxiety attack. Remember, she's trying to live a peaceful life!!!

Happy Autumn

Today is the first day of autumn, and here in the mountains of east Tennessee, I am running my air-conditioner. Sigh. Oh well, I'm going to celebrate fall nonetheless! Here's just a few fall-related activities on-tap for the newlyweds:

• Already purchased 2 pumpkins and 2 baskets of yellow mums, on sale at Lowe's this past weekend. I couldn't help but laugh when we walked into church yesterday and saw the exact same baskets of mums on the altar, where flowers are always displayed. We Germans/Lutherans are all the same; we like to enjoy beauty at a discounted price. Mine are displayed on our deck, where we can look through the sliding doors and enjoy the sunshine on them. We'll carve our pumpkins into jack-o-lanterns when it gets closer to Halloween.
• Because I work from home, I feel the need to get out a couple of evenings during the week. Because we're trying to save money, though, our dates have to be pretty cheap, so they end up being a jaunt to Starbucks (and at $8 for 2 coffees, our date isn't exactly cheap, I know). For this week's outing, I'm going to indulge in my first pumpkin spice latte of the season. (And as long as I'm talking about pumpkin spice lattes, I have to send you over to read this post by chatting at the sky!)
• Around the middle of October, we're going to start an Annual Orchard Day tradition. I basically want to go to the orchard to pick apples, drink hot spiced apple cider, eat a huge caramel apple, come home to bake and eat a huge apple pie, and essentially get very sick on all things apple.
  

• Visit our beloved Biltmore Estate when the leaves have turned, preferably around the 1-year anniversary of our first visit there together, which was November 2, 2007 (one of my favorite days ever).

• And speaking of leaves turning, we're going to drive the Blue Ridge Parkway and behold sights such as this:

• Watch "Last of the Mohicans" -- a very autumn-y movie (it was filmed in part on the Biltmore Estate!).
  
• Finally, we'll travel to Indy again for my niece Ada's birthday (big 5 years old, Zu-Zu!), we'll fly to New York for Thanksgiving with Marty's Aunt Becky (much more on this to come...going to New York City will be like going home to the mothership for me, retail-wise), and we'll do other things like taking lots of walks and doing lots of cuddling while sitting outside in the crisp, chilly air while breathing in a little bit of that lovely smoke from burning leaves...

Welcome Autumn!

Got inspiration?

I don't know how I found this site -- must have been one of those click-and-ramble things I do from blog to blog -- but I'm so touched by this story that I want to share it.

Brave people inspire me. Please read about Matt (who looks like Ryan Gosling!) and his baby girl, Madeline. He is raising her alone because Madeline's mama, Liz, died of a pulmonary embolism the day after giving birth to her. This story just breaks my heart, but Matt's courage to keep going and his love for Madeline are beautiful and precious to read about. (Be warned: Matt swears a bit here and there, but then...wouldn't you?).

70s music is far out

Ever play on YouTube? I meandered over there today and I've been immersed in the 70s ever since. Here's a selection of my favorites:

• Andy Kim, Rock Me Gently
• Bee Gees, You Should Be Dancing (you have to check this one out; of course it features John Travolta doin' his thang; I have to dedicate this to my dad, who taught me to love falsetto and all things Gibb)
• ABBA, Take a Chance on Me (this could be my favorite disco tune of all time)
• Thelma Houston, Don't Leave Me This Way
• And while we're at it, let's enjoy the opening them to "c.h.i.p.s" (man, doesn't this take you back to a better time???)
• And the the intro to Greatest American Hero (I accidentally broke my little sister's nose acting this out...oops)

Some softer 70s tunes:

• Frank Mills, Music Box Dancer (I can't listen to this without tears in my eyes. I'm reminded of my mom driving me to ballet class one time, when this came on the radio, and she told me I was "her little ballerina." This song was my favorite for years and years.)
• John Denver, Annie's Song

Tell me some of your favorites!

pictures from Indiana wedding reception

Hopefully I'll get more in from various people, but for now, here are some good ones!

The bride and groom

My fabulous best friend Kate (Life in the Cooper House) with her hubby Dan and their cherub in my arms, Adele (they drove all the way from Michigan -- a 7-hour round-trip -- to surprise me and to meet my hubby and spend time with us; I hooped and hollered when I saw Kate's dark head appear in the doorway!!!)

Yes, more cake, Honey

My too-adorable nieces and nephews. I'm holding the birthday boy Elijah (his 2nd birthday was the day before this) and you can see I have to heft him, he's a chunky monkey! Notice also Ethan's smile; I smiled like that from ages 2-5, so it must be a family thing.